My name is Veronica Chaos, and I make my living performing hilariously horrifying sex acts with my dummy, Slappy, on the Internet.
Come, friend, lay off the puny apps and senseless self-shills -- there's a whole world of narcissist-aimed products out there, fully fitted for admiring the perfection that is you.
Are you ready to get a brain boner?
In August 2000, my mother's three best friends were arrested for the murders of five people. She was accused of providing the alibi. Looking back, this is what I learned.
We assume that people who build buildings know what they're doing, but that stuff isn't easy, and damn it, mistakes get made.
The worst thing about a precious handful of these embarrassments is that you think they won't be a problem when you're older, when in fact it gets exponentially worse.
It turns out plenty of professional folks are 12-year-olds magically trapped in grown-up bodies.
Hospitals kind of need to keep things professional, since a tiny mistake can mean death and a massive malpractice suit. Of course, not everyone got the memo.
These baffling cliques seem to be based on a peyote vision or some terrible mistranslation in the Bible.