At least there's one place where justice will always reign, where the wicked are punished: prison. Criminals may thrive in the lawless cities we've mentioned, but in the big house they always get their just desserts. That's why nations build these fearsome places, like San Antonio prison on Margarita Island, Venezuela. Wait, did we say "fearsome"? We meant "awesome," because San Antonio is probably the best vacation spot you could have hoped for as a criminal. Ignore the high walls, barbed wire, and armed guards; this prison is party central.
Meridith Kohut/The New York Times
The showers aren't quite as traumatic as you'd heard.
For the 2,000-plus occupants of San Antonio, life behind bars is a constant, never-ending fiesta of drugs, drink, sunbathing, and barbecues. It's Arkham City meets Van Wilder, where the drinks keep flowing and no one ever petitions for early release. The prisoners, who are a mix of Venezuelan nationals and foreign drug traffickers, owe this easy life to a deceased kingpin benefactor named Teofilo Rodriguez, also known "El Conejo" -- The Rabbit. Now, the inmates and their families (including children) can live safe behind the walls of this maximum security prison, indulging themselves in a variety of neighborhood activities ranging from dancing and painting to watching television and having cookouts.
Pictured: prison food.
Away from the frivolities, this freedom also allows criminal overlords to continue their illicit operations from behind bars. Using cellphones and laptops, these guys conduct drug deals, arrange assassinations, and run their empires with an iron fist all the while remaining behind steel bars. In 2010 alone, 476 prisoners were killed in San Antonio, most of them by the hands of the small armies of inmates carrying heavy duty guns. Prison guards are the worst-armed people in San Antonio prison.
Meridith Kohut/The New York Times
We call them guards. The inmates call them "cabana boys."
The prison even has its own tourist industry. For visitors seeking drugs, San Antonio prison is a goldmine. They can walk around and buy some product without having to worry about being searched on the way out. They are searched going in, though. Nobody wants them smuggling in drugs and upsetting the inmates' profit margins. They have a business to run. Prison isn't just a holiday camp, after all.
When Adam isn't traveling the world, he tweets and stuff. He also has an email address (adamwearscracked at gmail.com) where you can contact him with ... well, whatever you please. He has a feeling he'll regret those words.
Which Sci-Fi Trope Would You Bring To The Real World, And Why? Every summer, we're treated to the same buffet of three or four science fiction movies with the same basic conceits. There's man vs. aliens, man vs. robots, man vs. army of clones, and man vs. complicated time travel rules. With virtual reality and self-driving cars fast approaching, it's time to consider what type of sci-fi movie we want to be living in for the rest of our lives. Co-hosts Jack O'Brien and Adam Tod Brown are joined by Cracked's Tom Reimann and Josh Sargent and comedians David Huntsberger, Adam Newman, and Caitlin Gill to figure out which sci-fi trope would be the best to make a reality. Get your tickets to this live podcast here!
For places to probably avoid on your next trip, check out The 6 Most Terrifying Places On Earth To Be Stranded and The 6 Best Towns To Live In (If You Have A Death Wish).
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