Ah, if only the real world could be more like a video game. There, wounds heal instantly and death lasts only as long as a load screen. The men are bald and armed, the women have proportions that make Barbie look like a teenage boy.
Everybody is a comedian these days, and the internet has given them a stage. Maybe the best example is Amazon.com. It's very simple: anybody can write a review, on any product, whether they have bought it or not. So it's just a matter of finding a baffling/ridiculous/useless product and watching the internet's sarcasm run wild.
Invent the next great innovation in transportation technology, and you'll be living in a house made of platinum. The problem, of course, is that your innovation has to actually, you know, work.
Some ancient weapons were literally centuries ahead of their time yet wound up in the trash when society decided they were simply too awesome for their time.
Street Fighter 2 Drunk for Pants.
I left the police station in a cold sweat, and hitchhiked out to the country, where I remain to this day, standing in the middle of an empty field, swinging a huge stick at anything that moves. I know what no man should: My Xbox has become self-aware.
Just because you're the star of your very own video game doesn't automatically mean you deserve the lead role. In most cases, we wish we could control the far-better sidekick instead.
So some achievements are meaningless, and some achievements are insanely difficult. The World of Warcraft developers thought it would be funny to make some that were both. Like these.
Building military aircraft is really, really hard. Sometimes, though, they just sort of slap something together and send the pilot off to die.
What is the uncanny valley? Something that's horrifying and happening right now.
I started one of these 'realistic' games, and vowed to play it as if it were really me in there. My traits, my habits, my morals. Along the way, I learned some things. Horrible, scarring things that I wish I could now deny. Such as:
It would be wrong to say that these suits are an extension of the man. It is an extension of what the man dreams of becoming, and I for one dream of becoming invincible.
The most depressingly one-sided rivalry in the history of not just video games, but possibly the world.