Your Own Satellite Launched Into Orbit
We're still generations away from space travel being something any middle class family could save up for, but you can send up your own unmanned vehicle, in the form of a satellite. And you can do it right now, for $8,000.
A practical choice for the supervillain on a budget.
A company called Interorbital Systems will attach a satellite to a Neptune 30 rocket and send it into orbit, all for about the price of a motorcycle.
The satellite will then circle the Earth for a few weeks, taking pictures of space or whatever, before re-entering the atmosphere and burning up.
And the best part of this whole thing? The satellites are ultra customizable. They actually give the physical satellite kit to you before launch ... and you can modify the shit out of it.
You can paint it to resemble a giant dong. You can download software of your choice on it, or pimp it in whatever way your deranged imagination comes up with. And all the data from whatever it is you make it do up there is sent directly to your home computer.
Add a good camera and time it right, and you could have candid pictures of the ISS crew after hours.
Some of the possible uses listed on the website are Earth-from-space video imaging, space experiments, space art and even space burials. They don't actually state that lasers or giant sun-blocking screenshields are an option, but we're more than happy to make that statement for them.
The company isn't just operating some complicated scam, either; they have already launched their first rocket, taking 32 satellites successfully into orbit (you can see a list of its occupants here). Also, they are taking orders for the next batch of satellites right now.
If you can spare $10,000 a gram, they're also pre-selling moon rocks.
Expect at least a few of those to bear Cracked insignia and to start drawing giant dongs on the face of the Earth with giant murder lasers the very second they settle on their orbit. Otherwise, why bother?
For more cool toys that can be yours, check out 5 Deadly Sci-Fi Gadgets You Can Build At Home and The 12 Most Insane Things You Can Buy on the Internet.