Cracked Archive - Tech

The 7 Creepiest Inventions Ever Patented For the Crotch

Psychopaths ran out of things to enpenis about two hundred years ago and have been inventing new ones ever since. Most of them make the Saw movies look like infomercials for personal massagers.


5 Recklessly Stupid Attempts at Human Flight (That Worked)

It turns out that early aviation was more a matter of slapping as many of whatever they had lying around the workshop together and getting a running start off the nearest cliff. The truly crazy part? Sometimes it actually worked.


5 Everyday Rip-Offs That Are Surprisingly Easy to Avoid

The world is an awful place, filled with people like us, all trying to screw us over every chance we get. Our only defense is intense, bile-filled suspicion, of anyone and everyone we deal with, including infants.


7 Commonly Corrected Grammar Errors (That Aren't Mistakes)

If you've written anything on the Internet in the past 20 years or so, a short time later you've probably experienced a feeling of pure, unalloyed irritation, when you observed someone correcting your grammar. Well, now you can tell those people to shove off.


5 Futuristic Technologies Invented in the Wrong Century

Every once in a while the universe gets its wires so crossed that something we tend to think of as the far-fetched brainchild of some science fiction writer actually happened in the real world well before we ever saw it on a movie or TV screen.


The 6 Creepiest Ways They're Harvesting Electricity

As the threat of global warming and other environmental catastrophes grow more and more apparent, science is looking ever more desperately for things to turn into electricity that don't involve murdering everything horribly as a side effect.


6 Disasters Caused by Poorly Designed User Interfaces

Until humans learn how to command machines with their minds (or vice versa), we're always going to need some sort of menu, control panel or whatever to interact with our machines and tell them to do our jobs for us. And while most are incredibly easy, some are just plain ridiculous.


8 Features of the Google Glasses (As They'll Really Be Used)

The video demo of the new Google glasses is making the rounds. We update a few key moments for the sake of honesty.


Why Google's Self-Driving Car Will Probably Be Evil

Over the past decade Google has become an omnipresent part of our lives, to the point that a lot of people are getting very nervous about the amount of information they have about us. And now with Google evidently becoming a leader in the world of automotive automation, we must ask: is this Google car a terrifying vision of a future automotive nann


The 7 Most Sexist Things Ever Invented for Boobs

Staring at breasts can reduce your IQ to something you can't even spell, let alone use, as proven by these seven inventions that do for cleavage what cleavage does for intelligence tests.


The 5 Stupidest Technology Questions Ever Googled

As you try to understand technology better, where can you turn for honest answers? Sadly, many stupid people ask the Internet, itself a piece of technology and therefore clearly biased.


6 Prank Gadgets That Only a Sociopath Would Actually Use

Fortunately for the people who go their entire lives without ever discovering the difference between a 'practical joke' and 'randomly harming other people just because,' an entire industry has emerged to help them.


5 Computer Hacks from Movies You Won't Believe Are Possible

When it comes to depicting computer hacking onscreen, it's no surprise that the implausible scenarios Hollywood's tech-challenged screenwriters manage to pull out of their asses don't even come close to resembling the real thing. Except it turns out that, every once in a while, they inadvertently get it right on the money.


9 Badass Lasers That Prove the Death Star Isn't Far Off

If you want to build supercomputers, set up a global communications network, trigger thermonuclear fusion, melt steel and weld flesh, lasers have you covered. They're like the Swiss Army Knife for people planning to attack the Justice League.


6 Insane Roads You Won't Believe People Actually Drive On

None of nature's obstacles can keep man from going where he wants to go. For evidence, you only need to look at where we've chosen to build our highways, oblivious to all obstacles, elements and mortal danger.