Cracked Archive - Tech

5 Nightmarish Realities Of Replacing Your Phone
5 Nightmarish Realities Of Replacing Your Phone

My journey from phonelessness to re-enphonification took just hours of time, but the true cost was to my soul. In a way, I died that day.

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6 Man-Made Things You Totally Thought Were 'Natural'
6 Man-Made Things You Totally Thought Were 'Natural'

Hold on to your learnin' hats, because almost everything that we traditionally file in the 'natural' folder has been tampered with well beyond recognition.

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The Awful Reality Of The Worst Fighting Game Ever
The Awful Reality Of The Worst Fighting Game Ever

I got paid to play Final Slam 2. That's the way it should be. People should get a direct deposit of $4.00 every time they launch the game.

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5 Simple Solutions That Would Make Facebook Bearable Again
5 Simple Solutions That Would Make Facebook Bearable Again

Because of the nature of the Internet and just plain ol' dumbass human interaction, the longer Facebook is an entity, the stronger its IQ vacuum becomes.

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5 Lessons Found In The Worst Online Criticism (Really)
5 Lessons Found In The Worst Online Criticism (Really)

I take intelligent criticism to heart, but I even try to find value in the ... less than brilliant stuff that is so prevalent here on the Internet. And I think I can help everybody do the same.

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The Most Weirdly Specific, Lazy Spam Email I Ever Received
The Most Weirdly Specific, Lazy Spam Email I Ever Received

If I want a service of any kind, I at least want it from someone who has the wherewithal to capitalize their words in email subject headings.

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The 6 Most Useless Features Found in Flashlight Apps
The 6 Most Useless Features Found in Flashlight Apps

I don't know how to make an app, but I can't imagine a flashlight app is difficult to make. It seems like the potato-powered lightbulb of the app world.

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5 Shocking Ways The World Is About To Change
5 Shocking Ways The World Is About To Change

The thought of eating bugs might gross/freak/flip you out, but chances are you're doing it already and just don't know it.

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5 News Writers Who Are Bad Internet Comments Come to Life
5 News Writers Who Are Bad Internet Comments Come to Life

Let's examine five types of deplorable Internet comments and the columnists from rather large institutions who are their living embodiment.

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5 Hilariously Petty Abuses Of Revolutionary Technologies
5 Hilariously Petty Abuses Of Revolutionary Technologies

Technology is how humanity puts its smartest minds into its dumbest hands.

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6 Sexy Ways To Speed Up Your Computer
6 Sexy Ways To Speed Up Your Computer

I shouted angry oaths at my own computer until it answered me. Here's what I found.

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8 Once Cutting-Edge Websites That Are Now Super Depressing
8 Once Cutting-Edge Websites That Are Now Super Depressing

Like an awful stain on the already disgusting tapestry of porn we call home, here are some of the more inexplicable 1990s artifacts that are somehow still around.

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5 Dark Sides Of The Tech Industry No One Ever Talks About
5 Dark Sides Of The Tech Industry No One Ever Talks About

Don't get me wrong. I come here not to bury the tech industry, but I do come here to heavily criticize Silicon Valley.

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6 Insane 'As Seen On TV' Products That Are Worse In Person
6 Insane 'As Seen On TV' Products That Are Worse In Person

I don't want to spoil anything, but these were overpriced.

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6 Stupid Features Professional Websites Still Use
6 Stupid Features Professional Websites Still Use

The standards for good design and technology for websites are constantly changing. It really is a job for professionals, which is why it's hilarious when those professionals screw up.

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