Cracked Archive - Sex

The 5 Creepiest 'Progressive' Parenting Fads

You don't want to be your old-fashioned, neglectful parents; no, you're the wave of the future, and your kids are the waviest of the future, and you know it. And then that entire line of thinking gets completely out of hand and ridiculous stuff like this starts happening.


The 7 Worst Sex Lives in the Animal Kingdom

As it turns out in the animal kingdom, for one gender, sex is the only reason they're alive; for the other, it's a terrifying, painful nightmare.


The 6 Sleaziest Ways Animals Are Mimicking Human Sexuality

Have you ever asked, 'Are there disturbing ways in which animal sex lives resemble ours?' The answer is yes, unfortunately. Also, you're a pervert.


The 5 Weirdest Reasons We Have Sex (According to Science)

We're not saying these theories behind our sexual behaviors are the gospel truth or that there aren't other, conflicting theories out there. But if they are, sex is even weirder than we thought.


5 YouTube Music Videos That Suck the Fun Out of Sex

YouTube is filled with music videos from nobodies who still sing about sex as though it's something they have to tolerate. They sing about sex because they think they have to, but they are mean to it, they are dismissive of it and they do their best to just suck the magic out of it for anyone watching.


5 Ridiculous Sex Myths Everyone Believes

What do you know about sex? Even with all that you have going for you, the real and correct answer is probably 'nothing.'


11 Impressive Valentines for People in Made Up Relationships

Love, like a poltergeist, is invisible to the naked eye and can only be witnessed by the force it bears on objects. To really understand it, you need to feel it, to be possessed by it or, at the very least, to see the way it can tear up a living room when it goes wrong. And like a poltergeist, sometimes love is actually just a big ruse designed by


5 Insignificant Things That Determine Who You Have Sex With

Turns out there are even more things that get people to consider knowing us in the biblical way, and they're so subtle and random that pants-wearing just seems stupid now.


The 7 Most Agonizing Sex Injuries on Record

Sex sells, but drama subscribes. Put the two together, and you've got an irresistible list of injuries


The 5 Most Ruined Orgasms in Cinema History

Back in the day, most films had to combine some of their hottest scenes with dramatic or comedic content that may have furthered the purposes of the film but absolutely destroyed its orgasm-producing potential. Here are the worst.


5 Historic Sex Scandals That Put Bill Clinton to Shame

People have been sticking their bits in ill-advised places since the beginning of time, and history has its share of scandals where the details of the stories are actually quite a bit weirder.


5 Terrible Combinations Made From Great Things

Do you like things that are awesome? I sure do. And what's better than having one thing that's awesome? That's right, pure black tar heroin! Oh, wait, I mean two things that are awesome. Stuck together!


4 Evolutionary Explanations for Modern Annoyances

At one point each of these social mechanisms was probably the glue that held civilizations together, but we've come a long way since then and now they're just sort of annoying.


5 Ridiculous Sex Myths From History (You Probably Believe)

It turns out that a lot of what BBC dramas tell you about sex in history is just a fanciful cover for sex lives that didn't differ that much from our own.


Are You Secretly a Great Writer? Like Money? Read This.

Think you know more about everything than does? Time to put up or shut up.