Cracked Archive - Sex

Go to the front page of any mostly male discussion site like Reddit.com and see how many inches you can browse before finding several thousand men bemoaning how all women are gold-digging whores (7,500 upvotes) and how crazy and irrational women are (9,659 upvotes) and how horrible and gross and fat women are (4,000 upvotes).

• By Jason Pargin
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• March 27, 2012

You don't want to be your old-fashioned, neglectful parents; no, you're the wave of the future, and your kids are the waviest of the future, and you know it. And then that entire line of thinking gets completely out of hand and ridiculous stuff like this starts happening.

• By Dawn Morrow
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• March 25, 2012

As it turns out in the animal kingdom, for one gender, sex is the only reason they're alive; for the other, it's a terrifying, painful nightmare.

• By Brittany Fain, Jack Relf
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• March 11, 2012

Have you ever asked, 'Are there disturbing ways in which animal sex lives resemble ours?' The answer is yes, unfortunately. Also, you're a pervert.

• By Eddie Rodriguez
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• February 19, 2012

We're not saying these theories behind our sexual behaviors are the gospel truth or that there aren't other, conflicting theories out there. But if they are, sex is even weirder than we thought.

• By Kristi Harrison
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• February 14, 2012

YouTube is filled with music videos from nobodies who still sing about sex as though it's something they have to tolerate. They sing about sex because they think they have to, but they are mean to it, they are dismissive of it and they do their best to just suck the magic out of it for anyone watching.

• By Soren Bowie
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• February 13, 2012

What do you know about sex? Even with all that you have going for you, the real and correct answer is probably 'nothing.'

• By Robert Evans
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• February 07, 2012

Love, like a poltergeist, is invisible to the naked eye and can only be witnessed by the force it bears on objects. To really understand it, you need to feel it, to be possessed by it or, at the very least, to see the way it can tear up a living room when it goes wrong. And like a poltergeist, sometimes love is actually just a big ruse designed by

• By Soren Bowie
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• February 06, 2012

Turns out there are even more things that get people to consider knowing us in the biblical way, and they're so subtle and random that pants-wearing just seems stupid now.

• By Kathy Benjamin, Paul K Pickett
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• January 31, 2012

Sex sells, but drama subscribes. Put the two together, and you've got an irresistible list of injuries

• By Brendan McGinley
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• January 29, 2012

Back in the day, most films had to combine some of their hottest scenes with dramatic or comedic content that may have furthered the purposes of the film but absolutely destroyed its orgasm-producing potential. Here are the worst.

• By Gladstone
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• January 26, 2012

People have been sticking their bits in ill-advised places since the beginning of time, and history has its share of scandals where the details of the stories are actually quite a bit weirder.

• By Dennis Fulton
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• January 22, 2012

Do you like things that are awesome? I sure do. And what's better than having one thing that's awesome? That's right, pure black tar heroin! Oh, wait, I mean two things that are awesome. Stuck together!

• By Gladstone
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• January 14, 2012

At one point each of these social mechanisms was probably the glue that held civilizations together, but we've come a long way since then and now they're just sort of annoying.

• By Joe Donatelli
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• January 02, 2012

It turns out that a lot of what BBC dramas tell you about sex in history is just a fanciful cover for sex lives that didn't differ that much from our own.

• By C. Coville, Jake Klink
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• December 13, 2011