The world is like a movie written by a dozen coked-up screenwriters, the script of which was then eaten by one of their dogs, forcing the actors to try to perform their parts by reading the shit.
Police sure are crazy in Baltimore, huh? Trick question! Police are crazy pretty much everywhere.
The best sex is always about timing.
We have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).
When will cops freaking stop killing people?
As it turns out, when you attempt to maintain relevancy in the world, a lot of things can fail.
Following the news is like trying to listen to a confusing tale told by a madman who insists on talking with his butt cheeks like Ace Ventura.
Some recent medical news stories are about as accurate as the 'Plastic Surgeons Hate Her!' spam ads decorating those same articles.
It's pretty clear that somewhere along the way, a few of the corporate training video producers of the world completely and totally lost their minds.
The world is dark and full of terrors, and no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important news story while maintaining their sanity.
The legal system is messed up, man.
We've assembled a gallery of the strangest rogues you might one day find in Arkham's minimum security wing.
I know that I'm basically a cliche, and rather than being bothered by it, I find great pleasure in hyperconformity.
What can you expect to start fading away before people stop seeing you as a useless twentysomething?
Here are the first of what will probably be thousands of B.S. political news stories the media refused to get right.