Cracked Archive - News

13 Things You Didn't Know You Should Know

The world is like a movie written by a dozen coked-up screenwriters, the script of which was then eaten by one of their dogs, forcing the actors to try to perform their parts by reading the shit.


5 Reasons Police Have Probably Started The Next Civil War

Police sure are crazy in Baltimore, huh? Trick question! Police are crazy pretty much everywhere.


6 People So Good At Sex They're Basically Magic

The best sex is always about timing.


The 14 Most Important Stories You Probably Missed

We have taken it upon ourselves to quickly summarize the most important and/or ridiculous news stories from the last week (or so).


6 Reasons Why The Cops Keep Killing People (Besides Racism)

When will cops freaking stop killing people?


7 World's Fairs That Became Utter Nightmares

As it turns out, when you attempt to maintain relevancy in the world, a lot of things can fail.


The 13 Biggest Stories Of The Week (You May Have Missed)

Following the news is like trying to listen to a confusing tale told by a madman who insists on talking with his butt cheeks like Ace Ventura.


6 BS Medical Stories Your Friends Shared On Facebook

Some recent medical news stories are about as accurate as the 'Plastic Surgeons Hate Her!' spam ads decorating those same articles.


The 5 Worst Things Famous Companies Made To Train Employees

It's pretty clear that somewhere along the way, a few of the corporate training video producers of the world completely and totally lost their minds.


The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (4/21)

The world is dark and full of terrors, and no reasonable person can be expected to keep up with every important news story while maintaining their sanity.


5 Baffling Dick Moves That Won Actual Lawsuits

The legal system is messed up, man.


6 Totally Confusing Crime Sprees That Are Baffling Police

We've assembled a gallery of the strangest rogues you might one day find in Arkham's minimum security wing.


5 Things I've Learned From Admitting I'm A Hipster

I know that I'm basically a cliche, and rather than being bothered by it, I find great pleasure in hyperconformity.


7 Signs of Old Age That Hit Most People When They're Young

What can you expect to start fading away before people stop seeing you as a useless twentysomething?


6 Headlines That Prove The Media Doesn't Understand Politics

Here are the first of what will probably be thousands of B.S. political news stories the media refused to get right.