Cracked Archive - News

Following the news is like reading a superhero comic in which the heroes actually stay dead.

• By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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• November 03, 2015

Listen, I don't scare easily, but f**k a bug. All bugs.

• By Adam Tod Brown
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• October 31, 2015

Unsurprisingly, the move toward making horror-based entertainment more like watching a person get murdered for real has extended to haunted houses in recent years.

• By Adam Tod Brown
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• October 29, 2015

Forget Kim Kardashian's bum. Star Wars: The Force Awakens is breaking the internet.

• By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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• October 27, 2015

The news is like a very confusing story written by a novelist who was trying to treat his chronic paranoia with cocaine.

• By Ted E.
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• October 20, 2015

We sat down with someone who spent most of the last decade working for the TSA, and he explained to us just what it was like being inside that most hated of organizations.

• By Robert Evans, Anonymous
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• October 16, 2015

I'm not saying any of the things on this list are definitely going to happen. I'm just saying they already did once.

• By Adam Tod Brown
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• October 15, 2015

Trying to stay on top of the news is like trying to defeat a swarm of killer bees by eating them.

• By Ted E.
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• October 13, 2015

In the latest installment of our never-ending quest to keep you safe from the Internet's tidal waves of bullshit, we'd like to focus on alien life.

• By Mark Hill
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• October 13, 2015

We talked to a whole bunch of former and current military servicewomen about this subject. Somehow, what they had to tell us was even worse than we expected.

• By Robert Evans, Anonymous
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• October 13, 2015

You should be aware that an expensive seafaring vacation can quickly turn into a petri dish of disease and nightmares.

• By E. Reid Ross
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• October 09, 2015

Pick up any small-town newspaper and you'll see a special section reserved for stuff straight out of a bad episode of 'X-Files.'

• By Michael Hossey
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• October 07, 2015

The news is like a 'Walking Dead' spinoff where they've replaced the zombies with assholes.

• By Ted E., T. S. Obiech
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• October 06, 2015

All of us have fallen for stories like these before but there are some particularly egregious types of B.S. that shouldn't fly anymore

• By Jason Iannone
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• October 06, 2015

We tend to forget that even before the Web came along, the fourth estate regularly put up with the screwnut shenanigans of people like these folks.

• By Adam Wears
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• October 04, 2015