Cracked Archive - News

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/6)
Sure, you could keep up with the news. But then you'd miss the balls-to-the-wall action of Mark Hamill shaving his beard.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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557
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/30)
Keeping up with the news is like trying to play Whack-a-Mole with a spork.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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787
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/23)
We feel you. Some weeks you just get too busy erecting life-sized, naked Trump statues to keep up with the news.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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570
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/16)
It's not just you. It's gotten a little weird, out there. Even the news seems like an Orwellian fever dream.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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667
5 Movies That Inadvertently Changed The Course Of US History
There are plenty of responsibilities where cribbing off of whatever's new on Netflix is a really, really bad idea. Like shaping government policies.
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- By Carolyn Burke
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315
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The 5 Most Insane Twist Endings Of Real Missing Person Cases
Modern technology makes it pretty difficult for a person to drop off the face of the Earth. But back when that was more common, missing persons cases used to get super weird.
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- By Robin Warder
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234
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/9)
Sure, you could keep up with the news. but then you'd miss out on the balls-to-the-wall action of Olympic mixed doubles badminton.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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602
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/2)
Look, we get it. Those Gilmore Girls aren't going to binge-watch themselves. That's why we quickly summarized the most ridiculous recent news stories.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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538
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/26)
Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to assemble a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces gone and the rest coated in sewage.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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636
The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/19)
Look, we get it. The news outlets are like rival howler monkey gangs cruising for mates.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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640
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/12)
Look, we get it. You're way too busy roaming the streets trying to catch Pokemon with your cellphone to catch the news. We're here to help.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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866
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (7/5)
There's a reason there's no such thing as C-SPAN and chill.
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- By Ted E., Scott Laffey
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750
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (6/28)
Following the news can be like eating ramen with a straw -- it's way too much work and a little nauseating after a while.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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660
6 Shocking Reasons You Can't Trust Election Predictions
Sadly, the thoughtlessly simple version of polling we carry around in our brains is not how it truly works.
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- By E. Reid Ross
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213
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (6/21)
The news often reads like the third movie in a superhero franchise -- the one that always has way too many villains and subplots.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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842