If you live in a city like me, then you might have found that sleeping has been impossible for the past month. Yes, there's the fear of COVID and of existential turmoil within the country keeping you up, plus the ever-present thought of "Oh god, we're all going to die one day," but what I'm talking about here specifically, are all the goddamn fireworks popping off through the night. It turns out that I'm not the only one who feels this way.

It's not clear why this is happening, but one theory is that, according to WFMYNews2, "The fireworks business has gone from boom to bust with coronavirus. At Pyroshows for example, sales are down almost 80 percent." Fireworks companies are selling products at a steep discount, and the thinking is that if you happen to be a firework junkie, or are just looking to blow your fingers off for the first time, then these are deals too good to pass up.

The other explanation is that people are simply bored. Waking up your neighbors with fizzpoppers and wizzboppers (sorry, all of my fireworks knowledge comes from The Grinch Who Stole Christmas) is a small price to pay for some when compared to the sheer monotony of staying inside day after day after day after day without changing up the routine. What could be bad?

Oh right, these aren't toys from a Dr. Seuss story. They're goddamn explosives. In New York, complaints of illegal pyrotechnics have soared to 3,655 in since the start of June, compared to only 26 grievances over that time last year, 311 data shows. So I guess we'll be able to sleep when we're dead, and the way our neighbors are playing with fireworks, we probably won't have to wait too long.

Support Dan on Twitter and he will talk about his life with you in lieu of getting a therapist.

Top Image: Pexels

Think Today Was Crazy?

Wait 'til you hear about the moments in history you missed! Get a new story sent directly to your inbox every day! No ads, no videos, just your daily shot of Cracked. Sign up now!

Forgot Password?