Cracked Archive - News

The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/18)
Keeping up with the news is like sweeping up after a parade made entirely out of elephants drinking espresso.
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- By Ted E., T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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489
8 Less Known Trump Stories That’d Derail Any Other Campaign
This election cycle has given us plenty, but dig deeper, and there are so, so, so, so many more times when Donald Trump has proven himself to be a festering wart on the genitals of America.
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- By Carolyn Burke
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646
The 12 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10-11)
Some weeks the news cycle is like a runaway train made entirely out of clown cars.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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594
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/4)
While you're busy packing your bags for that shuttle to Mars, news happens.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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601
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/27)
Look, we get it. Once you find out that your patronus is a three-legged alley cat, it's hard to get motivated to check on the news.
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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905
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6 Reasons Breitbart Is The Most Batsh!t Crazy Website Ever
Breitbart makes Fox News look like the BBC.
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- By Jim Avery
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540
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/20)
It's getting so you can't check the news without your smart phone bursting into flames.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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534
Bayer Purchased Monsanto (And We Are All Screwed)
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- By CRACKED Staff
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320
5 Ways Losing The Presidency Sucks Even More Than You Think
Running for president and then losing is the first step toward a life of soul-crushing misery and heartache.
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- By Michael Hossey
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327
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/13)
- Authors
- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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655
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (9/6)
Sure, you could keep up with the news. But then you'd miss the balls-to-the-wall action of Mark Hamill shaving his beard.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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557
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/30)
Keeping up with the news is like trying to play Whack-a-Mole with a spork.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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787
The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/23)
We feel you. Some weeks you just get too busy erecting life-sized, naked Trump statues to keep up with the news.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- Comments
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570
The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (8/16)
It's not just you. It's gotten a little weird, out there. Even the news seems like an Orwellian fever dream.
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- By T. S. Obiech, Scott Laffey
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- Comments
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667
5 Movies That Inadvertently Changed The Course Of US History
There are plenty of responsibilities where cribbing off of whatever's new on Netflix is a really, really bad idea. Like shaping government policies.
- Authors
- By Carolyn Burke
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315