Cracked Archive - News

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/24)

A quick look at the news should make you thankful that you're not currently running and screaming from some disaster or another.

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The 5 Craziest Stories Of The 2016 Election So Far (Pt.

It is a foregone conclusion that Hilary Clinton is going to win the Democratic nomination, to the chagrin of the keyboard-killers who thought Sanders would be our POTUS for the next 60 years.

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6 Realities In A Super Religious Family That Wants Me Dead

Honor killing claims 5,000 lives every year. And for some young Muslims, mostly women, all it takes to become a statistic is living a normal adult life.

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7 Things I Learned Reading Every Issue Of ISIS's Magazine

ISIS has a magazine. That is not a joke. An actual glossy, full-color magazine called Dabiq, complete with feature articles and photo spreads.

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/17)

The news can seem like a crossover between the 'Saw' franchise and 'Groundhog Day.'

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6 Shady Ways The Media Makes Millennials Look Like Idiots

Look, folks, portraying the youth of today as Archie and Jughead hopped up on The Weeknd and emojis isn't going to make the world a less stupid place.

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/10)

Following the news every day will make you wonder why Matt Damon didn't just ask to stay on Mars.

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If Everything Had A Fantasy League: Election Edition

The upcoming election is a total clown car. So we might as well have fun with it.

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5 Weirdly Accepted Ways The Media Is Racist Against Asians

With all this credulity-straining clickbait everywhere, it's reasonable to assume that everybody who writes for the Internet is in truth the same stoned intern.

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Never Wear Seatbelts: 8 Things You Learn In A Modern Warzone

When artillery starts exploding you want to be as mobile as possible - begin by disabling your car safety belts.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (11/3)

Following the news is like reading a superhero comic in which the heroes actually stay dead.

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5 Insane Moments From The Creepiest Haunted House Ever

Listen, I don't scare easily, but f**k a bug. All bugs.

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5 Minor Details That Ruin Every Haunted House Experience

Unsurprisingly, the move toward making horror-based entertainment more like watching a person get murdered for real has extended to haunted houses in recent years.

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/27)

Forget Kim Kardashian's bum. Star Wars: The Force Awakens is breaking the internet.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/20)

The news is like a very confusing story written by a novelist who was trying to treat his chronic paranoia with cocaine.

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