Being a comedian as well as a lady comes with a different set of challenges and advantages. (Mostly just challenges.)
Working for for a charitable cause is a noble and amazing endeavor that will inevitably let you down at some point.
Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to clean up post-blizzard snow drifts by pissing on them.
It's a weird time to be a soccer player in the United States right now. Why? Because it's apparently a great way to give yourself cancer.
World events are like a game of chess, only there are billions of pieces, no rules, and the board is perched precariously over a landmine.
Why the sudden rash of rebel groups obsessed with tyranny? There's a lot to unpack here -- and even more that's being ignored by most of the media.
Up yours, Donnie Wahlberg -- this is how you really compare Avery and O.J.
No, Obama is not coming for your guns.
Staying current with the news is like trying to put tiny tuxedos on a swarm of angry hornets.
It's been more than 50 years since the last time a president died while the Secret Service was babysitting him, though clearly they've dumb-lucked their way into that winning record.
Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to dry out a flooded basement with a sponge.
Hey, have you heard about Donald Trump's run for president? No, not his current campaign -- his 2000 run when he tried to win the Reform Party nomination but lost to Pat Buchanan.
Don't worry, Ariana Grande, in our hearts you'll always be a doughnut licker instead of doing whatever that thing it is that you do.