Being a comedian as well as a lady comes with a different set of challenges and advantages. (Mostly just challenges.)
All the red-white-and-blue hullabaloo that visits Iowa once every four years makes life really, really strange for the people who live there.
Working for for a charitable cause is a noble and amazing endeavor that will inevitably let you down at some point.
Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to clean up post-blizzard snow drifts by pissing on them.
It's a weird time to be a soccer player in the United States right now. Why? Because it's apparently a great way to give yourself cancer.
World events are like a game of chess, only there are billions of pieces, no rules, and the board is perched precariously over a landmine.
Why the sudden rash of rebel groups obsessed with tyranny? There's a lot to unpack here -- and even more that's being ignored by most of the media.
Up yours, Donnie Wahlberg -- this is how you really compare Avery and O.J.
No, Obama is not coming for your guns.
Staying current with the news is like trying to put tiny tuxedos on a swarm of angry hornets.
It's been more than 50 years since the last time a president died while the Secret Service was babysitting him, though clearly they've dumb-lucked their way into that winning record.
Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to dry out a flooded basement with a sponge.
Hey, have you heard about Donald Trump's run for president? No, not his current campaign -- his 2000 run when he tried to win the Reform Party nomination but lost to Pat Buchanan.
The bloodbaths in the Kakuma refugee camp tended to start with hunger and desperation.
Don't worry, Ariana Grande, in our hearts you'll always be a doughnut licker instead of doing whatever that thing it is that you do.