Cracked Archive - News

5 Alright Bands That Are One Tiny Change Away From Greatness

The Foo Fighters best albums were all done using three band members. Can't be a coincidence.

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Why Donald Trump Doesn't Tell It Like It Is

Donald Trump does not tell it like it is and does not say what people wish they could say. He says what people are entertained to hear.

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The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/8)

The news is crafted specifically to cater to people who enjoy being angry and/or terrified.

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My Brief Time As Donald Trump's Campaign Manager

To do over again, sure, I probably wouldn't have helped Donald Trump run for president.

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12 Real News Stories, Adjusted By Us For Insanity (3/4)

'Long-running Internet meme comes to an end.'

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5 Very Possible Nightmare Scenarios From A Trump Presidency

Let's talk about why we're doomed, America!

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5 Ways We Got The Trump Campaign Wrong: An Insider Explains

How did Donald Trump do it, and why didn't any of the conventional political experts see it coming?

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/1)

The news can seem like this is all an elaborate prank being played by a billionaire for his reality show.

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15 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/26)

'Pope reacts as a normal human being to a minor incident with the Mexican crowd. Bigots wet their pants.'

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Why Professor Indiana Jones Was Hated By His Colleagues

We must say that the title 'God Melted Some Nazi Faces In Front Of Me' simply doesn't fit our journal's aesthetic.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/23)

Today's news is like a less plausible version of the wacky fake headlines from 1980s movies set in the future.

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14 'Real' Headlines The Media's Too Afraid To Write (2/19)

'Republicans honor Scalia's devotion to the Constitution by ignoring it to delay successor's appointment.'

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5 Reasons To Like (Or At Least Respect) Martin Shkreli

I have a feeling this won't be a popular column. Don't ask me why. Just a feeling, I suppose.

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I'm Asian: 6 Forms Of Racism I Deal With Every Day

Just because it's no longer socially acceptable doesn't mean people don't still harbor some subconscious racist beliefs.

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/16)

The news is like 'The Walking Dead,' only without that show's sense of naive optimism.

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