Somehow We Still Don't Know Who 'The LAX Jetpack Person' Is

2020 has been a year in the sense that The Shining is a vacation movie, but so far, we've managed to avoid actual UFOs. And that's still true: As we mentioned that the object spotted hovering over LAX last week was very much identified by pilots as a person in a jetpack, flying at an altitude of around 3,000 ft. and dangerously close to the normal sky traffic.

The FBI was called in to investigate, aaaaand that's all we know. 

To the surprise of everything who's been demanding their flying cars for two decades, Iron Man-ing is theoretically possible. However, there are only a few people in the world with access to that kind of technology, and they know damned well not to use it in controlled airspace. The most recent update from the feds is that they know approximately where the person was. It took them a week to work that out.

Either no one knows what happened or they aren't telling, and it's not clear which possibility is more troubling. How have they not figured out by now who it was? How did they not figure it out immediately? Has no one noticed that they left their jetpack safe unlocked? Are there not people whose whole jobs are detecting, locating, and apprehending anyone who tries to get in the air above one of the world's busiest airports without permission? Is this the perfect stupid crime? It's been theorized that it could have been a mannequin on a drone, but experts say it's unlikely a pilot would make such a mistake, and it would only raise further questions, specifically, "Why was a mannequin on a drone?" Is it aliens? Blink twice if it's aliens, the FBI. You can trust us.

Tweet at Manna only if you are the FBI.

Top image: seg9585/Wiki Commons, Ross Parmly/Unsplash