Cracked Archive - News
The concept of fake news isn't entirely fake.
You're welcome for making you a much more interesting person to the people screaming obscenities at you on Xbox.
Sorting through news headlines is like archaeology -- there's a ton of digging, there's so much dirt, and anything good you find is usually broken.
Trying to find the important stories in the weekly news cycle is like playing 'Where's Waldo?'
We've got your morning reading covered.
Some weeks the news headlines are like the scarabs in a Brendan Fraser mummy movie.
You're welcome for turning you into the next Ben Stein.
The news outlets are like that kid who keeps pulling the fire alarm. You can't ignore them completely because you might miss something important.
.Here's your weekly dose of knowledge that'll make you sound like an absolute genius to your cat.
The weekly news cycle like a wiki -- you can never tell what's based on fact and what's been made up by trolls.
The media will go to great lengths to get us to click on their headlines.
- By Jordan Breeding
You can thank us later for how smart and interesting you're going to sound to all your friends and families and cats.
Just when you think you've got the news media matrix figured out, somebody reboots it.