Cracked Archive - News

The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (1/12)

Staying current with the news is like trying to put tiny tuxedos on a swarm of angry hornets.

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The 6 Dumbest Things We Just Learned The Secret Service Did

It's been more than 50 years since the last time a president died while the Secret Service was babysitting him, though clearly they've dumb-lucked their way into that winning record.

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14 Obvious 'Truths' Missing From Recent News Stories (1/8)

'New Netflix series makes every neckbeard an expert investigator.'

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The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (1/5)

Trying to keep up with the news is like trying to dry out a flooded basement with a sponge.

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4 Things Everybody Overlooks When Talking About Trump

Hey, have you heard about Donald Trump's run for president? No, not his current campaign -- his 2000 run when he tried to win the Reform Party nomination but lost to Pat Buchanan.

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5 Horrific Experiences I Lived As A Child Refugee

The bloodbaths in the Kakuma refugee camp tended to start with hunger and desperation.

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5 Huge News Stories Of 2015 (We Immediately Forgot)

Don't worry, Ariana Grande, in our hearts you'll always be a doughnut licker instead of doing whatever that thing it is that you do.

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18 News Stories Altered To Actually Tell The Truth (12/20)

Google is revealing some truly freaky stuff with their technology.

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How 8 Stores Are Fighting The War On Christmas

Family Dollar is clearly not ashamed to love Christmas in a Christmas-hating world, and that's an admirable trait for any soldier to have.

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29 Ridiculous 'News' Stories You Thought Were True In 2015

No, Pope Paul VI never proclaimed our pets are going to heaven.

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5 Petty Ways People Are Ruining Christmas This Year

Red Starbucks cups are so last month. Here some new things for your family to yell about over Christmas dinner.

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6 Reasons You've Probably Read Russian Propaganda Today

Russian propaganda slips into our reading every day. Straight from the Kremlin, right into your Facebook feed.

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We Asked A Mass Shooter Why The Hell This Keeps Happening

What we think we know about these people is either grossly simplified or outright B.S.

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The 13 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (12/15)

Watching the news, it's clear that the real world is a lot like the 'Star Wars' universe, in the sense that there are lots of people getting limbs hacked off by religious extremists.

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If Recent News Was Giving You Truth, Not B.S.

Our gift to you: News stories stripped of political B.S. and human bias. You're welcome and happy holidays.

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