Earlier this week, at least three railway workers were accused of truly living their best lives (and every New Urbanist Memes For Transit-Oriented Teens fantasy), facing allegations of turning a storage room into a "man cave" underneath one of the platforms in New York City's Grand Central Station.
The cave, which the employees used to "hang out and get drunk and party," according to the report, came complete with a flat-screen TV, a refrigerator, a futon, and a microwave, making it arguably much nicer than not only the comparable Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle's sewer lair, but also my own basement apartment, if we're being really honest here. Despite these impressive specs, the MTA was not too happy with the renovation, suspending the three employees without pay until the disciplinary issue at hand is resolved.
"Many a New Yorker has fantasized about kicking back with a cold beer in a prime piece of Manhattan real estate - especially one this close to good transportation," the MTA Inspector General said. "But few would have the chutzpah to commandeer a secret room beneath Grand Central Terminal & make it their very own man-cave, sustained with MTA resources, and maintained at our riders' expense."
To make matters even more confusing, the station managers told investigators that they had no idea the locked room inside an even larger storage room (#storagroomeception) under Grand Central Stations track 114 even existed in the first place, despite receiving multiple complaints about the underground lair dating back to February 2019. Yet instead of taking the L, accepting the matter as yet another fun, on-brand quirk of the Notorious MTA, they've decided to take action, mapping every room (and how they're locked) inside of Grand Central Station, according to NBC New York. Yay! Progress!
Moral of the story, my dear readers? There is never a dull day when it comes to the beautiful disaster that is New York City transit -- especially if you're getting hammered in an underground man cave at work.