Cracked Archive - News

The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (3/7/17)

Keeping up with meaningful news stories is like trying to find an M&M in a Skittles factory.


5 Ways To Stay Sane In An Era Of Non-Stop Outrage

If you want to stay sane over the next four years, stop feeding an outrage addiction that puts money in the pockets of reckless carnival barkers.


Let's Shine Some Light On The Awfulness That Is Bill Maher

Bill Maher is almost as big a piece of garbage as Milo is.


The Real Reason For The Trans Bathroom Panic

Arguments against the policy are more easily debunked than the myth that sewer gators can bite your buttocks off mid-poop.


10 Ridiculous Facts We Learned This Week (2/24/17)

We can't promise that any of these fascinating facts will save your life -- or, for that matter, be of any practical use whatsoever.


How Society (Accidentally) Created Milo And Trump

Curse Milo's sudden but inevitable betrayal of conservative values! If only we could've seen it coming...


The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/28/17)

Keeping up with the news is like shopping at a big box store. It's busy, it's confusing, and there's just so much of everything.


4 Ways To Make Sure Your Protest Really Makes A Difference

Grab a beer, you pitchfork-shining renegade.


5 Times The Answer To 'What Could Go Wrong?' Was Obvious

It's pretty hard to read these stories and wonder how anyone involved didn't see the end result coming a mile away.


The Ramifications Of Milo On 'Real Time With Bill Maher'

Our writers couldn't agree on how to best tackle this issue, so we had them tackle each other -- figuratively, as our 'Blood Arena' was banned by HR.


Hey, Harrison Ford, About These Planes ...

What I'm about to say may sound like an attack, but please believe me when I say that I'm speaking to you from a place of love.


The 15 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/21/17)

The news is like the endless, vaguely terrifying disclaimers at the end of a prescription drug commercial.


The 14 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (2/14/17)

The weekly news cycle is like a giant box of Conversation Hearts -- some of it makes sense, but the rest is indecipherable garbage.


The Most Quoted B.S. Myth Inside The Right's Media Bubble

When the Constitution mentions 'citizens,' it is exclusive to citizens of the United States, but when it starts using the word 'person,' it's referring to everybody.


Let's Stop Viewing Donald Trump Through Pop Culture Lenses

Shoving the plot points of a movie into news history not only ends up discrediting a piece of creative work, but it also distances us from the threat that is Trump.