Cracked Archive - News

5 Dumb Ways People In Trump's Orbit Are Trying To Cash In
The Trump presidency has attracted a dizzying array of grifters.
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- By Alex Hanton, E. Reid Ross, James Kinneen
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60
JetBlue Now Has ASMR (Just In Time For The Holidays)
Airports + ASMR = whaaa?
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- By Isaac Cabe
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0
The Actual Stories Behind 5 Huge Social Media Outrages
Social media makes getting mad so convenient!
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- By Alex Hanton, Ryan Menezes
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111
Gigantic Hats Are The Future Of Fashion, Apparently
Sure, why not, wear giant hats, whatever.
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- By Luis Prada
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5 Ways Modern Schooling Is Making Students Dumber
Who teaches the teachers?
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- By Blair Dodge, V.R. Craft, Christian Markle
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164
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IHOP's New Fast-Casual Breakfast Joint Doesn't Get Breakfast
IHOP's opening a new breakfast-to-go concept that completely misses any and all points of breakfast.
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- By Isaac Cabe
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1
Walmart Is Too Lame To Pull Off That Cocaine Snowman Sweater
Because Walmart is a dork store.
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- By Luis Prada
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0
The 2019 Words Of The Year Prove 2019's Been Rough
Them's the breaks.
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- By Cedric Voets
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5
6 Infamous Scandals With Crazy Details The Public Forgot
Sometimes the stories after the stories are even stranger.
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- By Alex Hanton, E. Reid Ross, James Kinneen, Ryan Menezes
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58
Every Single Stupid Company Is Mega Horny (On Twitter)
We are now in the 'aroused' stage of late capitalism.
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- By Luis Prada
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1
4 Disturbing Ways Trump Is Repeating History
History doesn't happen in a vacuum.
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- By Mark Hill
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226
Trump Fleeing After Being Mocked Is Objectively Funny
Winners don't get laughed at, duh!
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- By Luis Prada
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0
5 Boldly Moronic Schemes (That Somehow Worked)
You almost have to respect the level of planning it took to devise these foolproof capers.
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- By Alex Hanton, E. Reid Ross, Michael Battaglino, Christian Markle, W.H. Thomas
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27
6 Badass Children Who Stared Down Danger (And Won)
These kids would make most adults feel inadequate.
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- By Christian Markle
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34
5 Ways Trump Is, Unfortunately, A Genius
As the 2020 presidential election marches ever closer, the flood of daily Trump news we have to deal with will escalate into a tsunami.
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- By Mark Hill
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272