Of all the ways one could describe Rudy Giuliani, "creepy," "farty," and "not a lawyer" -- if the New York State Bar association has its way -- it seems "kinda stealthy" could be correctly counted among these adjectives. According to a new report from the New York Daily News, the ex-New York City mayor allegedly managed to evade Dominion Voting System's lawsuit process servers for an entire week after the company announced they were hitting Guiliani with $1.3 billion defamation case over his baseless claims of voter fraud in last year's presidential election. After refusing to accept the 107-page suit via email, Dominion was forced to employ process servers to pinpoint the former politician, handing him the documents in person.
"After not responding to requests to waive service, Mr. Giuliani evaded in-person service of process for nearly a week," Tom Clare, one of Dominion's attorneys told the publication. "It took numerous attempts, at both his home and office, before we were able to successfully serve Mr. Giuliani on February 10. Mr. Giuliani's repeated false claims about Dominion have been immeasurably damaging; this service of process is one more step forward in our pursuit of justice."
According to several sources, these efforts to serve Guiliani were dramatically thwarted multiple times, with the staff working at Rudy Giuliani's apartment complex supposedly assisting their famous tenant, not only locking the door as soon as he entered the building but sometimes even fighting off the process servers with an umbrella.
On February 7th, one of Dominion's minions found themselves in a tense confrontation while attempting to hand Giuliani the paperwork as he entered the passenger's seat of an SUV picking him up from outside his residence. As the process server "lunged forward with a bag full of documents," the former mayor reportedly fought back. "This is not the way it's supposed to be done, You should have gone to my office," he purportedly said, the documents jammed inside of the door. Amid the chaos, Guiliani's extremely loyal doorman stepped into the kerfuffle, shoving an umbrella in the passenger's side of the vehicle, as he and the driver "pulled" the bag, so the star could shut the door behind him.
As Guiliani's SUV drove away, the process server claimed the documents were Giuliani's property, leaving the bag in front of the building, which the doorman promptly locked once again. Soon after, A maintenance worker allegedly scooped up the documents and threw them into a trash bin on the street, forcing the poor process server to fish them out. Someone get this dude a raise, stat.
However, this was far from the end. "For the next two days, the process server failed to intercept Giuliani at his office or apartment building," the report reads. "Staff at Giuliani's office ignored messages to set up an appointment to hand off the suit." Finally, on February 10, his likely exasperated assistant accepted the documents on his behalf.
Now, in the face of a lawsuit worth more than Apple CEO Tim Cook's net worth, it seems the vast majority of us would probably follow in Guiliani's footsteps, doing everything in our power to dodge such a massive case, however, the attorney's response is surprising, considering he once told reporters he was excited about duking it out with Dominion in court. "Dominion's defamation lawsuit for $1.3B will allow me to investigate their history, finances, and practices fully and completely," the Borat 2 star explained to CNN last month. "The amount being asked for is, quite obviously, intended to frighten people of faint heart. It is another act of intimidation by the hate-filled left-wing to wipe out and censor the exercise of free speech, as well as the ability of lawyers to defend their clients vigorously."
Naturally, several late-night talk show hosts skewered Giuliani over the new report, the tale of umbrella-poking woe dominating the evening's TV programming. "In order to sue someone you have to touch them with the document to get the lawsuit going, but every time the process server got close, Rudy would transform into a bat and fly away," Jimmy Kimmel joked during Tuesday night's Kimmel Live monologue, adding that if the servers "really wanted to get those papers to Rudy they should have just asked Borat's daughter to stuff them in his pants."
The Late Late Show's James Corden also got in on the fun. "This should 100 percent be televised," he joked of the serving situation. "This should be a challenge on The Amazing Race. What a fall from grace Giuliani's had -- he went from being the president's personal lawyer to basically living out the plot of a Bugs Bunny cartoon. You know who should be serving Rudy Giuliani these papers? Sacha Baron Cohen. Wouldn't it be great if Borat served the papers?"
Public scrutiny aside, Good ol' RuGiu isn't alone in running from the consequences of his own actions. Sidney Powell, another one of ex-President Trump's attorneys who was also slapped with a $1.3 billion dollar lawsuit over false claims of voter fraud, made headlines earlier this month after she apparently dodged the process servers so effectively that Dominion Voting Systems say they hired a private investigator in an attempt to track her down. Chasing her "across state lines," finding Powell was apparently a melodramatic and extremely pricey affair, prompting "unnecessary expenses for extraordinary measures to effect service [of process]," the company claimed in a recent filing. Good thing Dominion will likely acquire an approximately $2.6 billion defamation suit payout in the not-too-distant future. Meanwhile, Jason Bourn-- sorry, Powell, reportedly "refused to respond" to Dominion's legal team's requests that would extend the time frame in which she could reply to the suit.
As these horror stories hit the news, Powell's own lawyers denied everything, of course, pinning the fiasco on *checks notes* the fact that Powell "regularly travels as part of her work."
"Unfortunately, for the past several months Ms. Powell has had to take extra precautions concerning her security, which may have made serving her more difficult," her attorney, Howard Kleinhendler told Politico via email. "Ms. Powell had no reason to evade service as she looks forward to defending herself in court," he continued, seemingly forgetting approximately 1.3 billion reasons his client may want to avoid the suit.
Even as Giuliani's colleague plays 'catch me if you can' with Dominion's process servers and his best frenemy enjoys his post-presidential sunset years relaxing at the germy, Floridian cespool that is Mar-a-Lago, RuGiu, with his apparent penchant for oozing, farting, and inappropriately sticking his hands down his pants, is here to stay. Until next time, this has been RudyWatch.