Cracked Archive - News

Too Much Black Licorice Is Bad For Your Heart And Your Soul

I'm going to come right out and admit it: I somewhat enjoy black licorice.

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Poisoned Halloween Candy Just Isn't A Thing

What kind of weirdo tampers with Halloween candy?

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You Can See Mario's Officially Licensed Wiener

Mario's dingaling appears in an officially licensed manga, so his pendulous little disco stick is canon.

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Huge Questions 'Stranger Things' Needs To Answer In Season 3

WARNING: SPOILERS ARE AHEAD. IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED STRANGER THINGS 2, GET THE HECK OUT OF THIS ARTICLE. GO BACK TO HANGING OUT WITH YOUR JOCK FRIENDS.

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The AI That Generates Halloween Costumes Is The Singularity

This woman is a certifiable evil genius.

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Burger King's Bullying PSA Is Just Ham-Fisted Manipulation

There's a good chance you're one of the 2.3 million and counting to have watched 'Bullying Jr.' The ad is getting a string of accolades normally reserved for Best Picture nominees, and it deserves absolutely none of them.

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A Giant Worm Was Found And It Turns Out, They're Very Common

Look at that cute little baby elephant trunk ... Oh, that's an earthworm.

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Southwest's Live In-Flight Music Is Cruel And Unusual

I thought it was impossible to innovate a worse flying experience. But Southwest has pushed the envelope with their new in-flight live entertainment.

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How President Trump Has Ruined Comedy

I wish I could just do stupid jokes again.

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The 16 Most Insane Things Happening Right Now (10/31/17)

The news is like a haunted house, but with a lot more jump-scares.

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Regal's Dynamic Ticket Fees Could Cause A Class Divide

Regal Cinemas is trying out a demand-based pricing structure ... which sounds like it could be a pretty terrible idea for everyone.

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Sophia The Terrifying Robot Gained Citizenship

This Hanson Robotics android threatened to destroy humanity, appeared on Jimmy Fallon's show, and is likely a psychopath. She's going to be our next president.

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News Anchors Try Carolina Reaper Pepper And It's Pure Art

This video is one of the greatest performance art pieces of all time.

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What Stupid Conspiracy Theory Is Out There Now? (11/1/17)

What crazy conspiracy theory is the internet up in arms about now?

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