Cracked Archive - News

A Housing Crisis Timebomb Is Set To Go Off

Remember 2008's housing crisis? Well here comes the sequel.


GOP Is Reusing Their '16 Platform ... Which Calls Out 'The Current President'

Even the GOP finds ways to inadvertently dunk on Trump.


A Quick Guide To What 'Defunding The Police' Means

It's way, way, waaaaay more sensible than it might sound.


Trump’s Team Is Running Ads In D.C. To Make Him Feel Better

Trump has no strategy. He is all ego and sadness and anger and it results in weird shit like this.


People Have Taken Trump's Bleach Suggestion To Weirdo New Frontiers

At least use the scented variety to keep your breath smelling like a fresh meadow.


Cops Wearing The Punisher Skull Continues To Be Stupid

The police are proving they are some kind of freak combination of Nazi and nerd.


Trump Hid Because His Greatest Fear Is Consequence

The protesters aren’t going away and all Trump can do is hide.


Mike Pence Can't Even Stage A Photo Op Right

Candace Owens is the last person you want in a discussion about George Floyd.


Pornographic Actor Nacho Vidal Arrested For Poisoning Photographer With Psychedelic Toad Venom

In a year full of strange headlines, this might just be the weirdest.


How To Contribute to Protests (When You’re Very White)

Pull up a chair, folks.


Myths About the Protests, Debunked

George Soros is hiding under your bed and leaving bricks in your stockings.


Dude, It's Only June.

2020 is a year we'll never forget and it's not even half over.


LAPD's Commissioner Getting Clowned On Zoom Was Delightful

For anyone craving a bit of catharsis during all of this violence, trust us, this is better than porn.


'Blackout Tuesday' Immediately Sank Because White Supporters Couldn't Shut Up

Gotta keep those hearts coming at any cost, to the point of metaphysical contradiction.


Shut The F Up About Looting Macy's

How do you compare the destruction of large retail chains to what happens to Black people everyday? I don't know, but people are trying.