Cracked Archive - News

NYT OpEd Celebrates Labor Day By Proving It Knows Nothing About Sex Work
Pro Tip: Before speaking for all 42 million sex workers, maybe try actually listening to one.
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- By Carly Tennes
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19
5 Ways America's 'Masculinity Industry' Eats Men's Brains
There’s a huge industry offering everything from jewelry to body washes that will keep manliness intact. What is going on?
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- By Mark Hill
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64
Seinfeld Will Return To Streaming After A Long Summer Of No George
George-less summer is over -- it's time for 'hot Seinfeld fall.'
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- By Carly Tennes
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2
Darth Vader Leaks From 'Obi-Wan Kenobi' Are Here And They're Creepy As Hell
This will be a day long remembered -- for its unsettling 'Star Wars' leaks.
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- By Carly Tennes
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4
Xbox Exec Begs Gamers Not To Name Their Children 'Game Pass'
Bad news if you love subjecting innocent children to a lifetime of public humiliation *and* hate paying for Game Pass.
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- By Carly Tennes
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9
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Like Edward, 'Twilight' Never Dies (But It Shows Up In Times Like Ours)
Hang tight, spider monkey -- 'Twilight' mania is back -- and here to stay.
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- By Carly Tennes
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5
Anti-Abortion Site Being Trolled— Er, Ogred By Shrek Fans
The heroes we need *and* deserve.
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- By Carly Tennes
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16
OnlyFans Reverses Controversial Decision To Ban 'Explicit' Content
Presumably losing most of your patrons/income is never a great business move.
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- By Carly Tennes
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21
Nirvana Sued By The Baby From Cover of 'Nevermind'
Move over, Teen Spirit -- it smells like a 'Nevermind' lawsuit
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- By Carly Tennes
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37
5 News Moments From A Few Decades Ago That Seem Surreal Now
Sadly, we didn't have Twitter back then to blow these up.
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- By Ivan Farkas
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57
WaPo Columnist Says Indian Food Is Made With One Spice, Gets Roasted By The Entire Internet
"ummm, what?" - anyone with tastebuds reading the OpEd, probably.
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- By Carly Tennes
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23
Soon-To-Be-Ex NY Lawmaker Andrew Cuomo, Reportedly Left His Dog Behind After Leaving Governor's Mansion
Big Ted Cruz Energy.
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- By Carly Tennes
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2
How To Understand Billionaires (In Four Easy Steps)
Billionaires don’t pay their fair share in taxes, even though doing so wouldn’t impact them literally at all.
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- By William Kuechenberg
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49
Boat That Blocked The Suez, Disrupted Global Trade, Gets Second Chance
If at first, you don't succeed in navigating a boat through the Suez canal, causing a several-day aquatic traffic backup and arguably an international incident, try, try again
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- By Carly Tennes
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4
Inside Walt Disney World's Most Infamous EPCOT Heist
Here's what an abandoned thrill ride, an NBA star, and $7,000 of stolen Haunted Mansion costumes all have to do with the disappearance of one of EPCOT's most iconic figures.
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- By Carly Tennes
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5