25 Topsy-Turvy News Stories That We Were Not Prepared For

25 Topsy-Turvy News Stories That We Were Not Prepared For

As a man, I enjoy this list of interesting facts. It is an extremely fulfilling form of entertainment. I have been told by those with more worldly experience that such a list is an elaborate way of saying something to the effect of “I don't know what else to write about, so here are some facts that I have found interesting.” This is t­rue. I do not have a lot of time for anything other than entertainment at the moment, but it seems I have found myself writing lists again. If I were to use my current time better, I would be writing something more substantial, perhaps. But I have already spent most of the time available to me reading novels. I cannot wait for the next novel, so I suppose I will take this opportunity to write another list. I enjoy this list of interesting facts so much that I feel compelled to do it even though it has nothing to do with writing. I have no idea why I am doing it again. But here we are.

Watch NASA spacecraft crash into asteroid at 15,000 mph.

NASA will attempt its first test in planetary defense by slamming a satellite into an asteroid. CRACKED.COM The Double Asteroid Redi- rection Test will test tech- nology to defend Earth against future asteroids and comets by deliberate- ly crashing into an aster- oid at 15,000 mph.


Man chops off his own penis during dream about slaughtering goat.

A man chopped off his own penís when he was dreaming about slaughtering goats. CRACKED.COM Kofi Atta, of Ghana, woke up to see his ре- nis chopped off after a dream where he was slaughtering a goat to help his wife prepare an evening meal.

ABC News 

An abused monkey was relocated and now has a boyfriend.

An abused monkey was relocated and now has a boyfriend. CRACKED.COM Videos of Milly the marmo- set circulated showing the frightened animal trying to save itself from being flushed down a toilet, but she was rehomed at Mon- key World and has a mate named Moon.

The National 

Hong Kong is trialling ground-level signal lights so pedestrians can see them while browsing smartphones.

Hong Kong is running a trial on ground-level signal lights so people can see them while on their phones. CRACKED.COM Instead of relying on the tra- ditional Red Man stop and Green Man go signs, the new marking system in- volves the use of LED lights that bathe crossing areas in a red or green glow.

ZME Science 

Two of Paul Newman's daughters are suing his Newman's Own Foundation, alleging it's not giving enough to charity.

Paul Newman's daughters are suing his Newman's Own Foundation for not donating enough to charity. STOP GRACKED.COM Newman's daughters Su- san Newman and Nell Newman allege those in charge of the foundation have ignored philanthropic endeavors and are not giv- ing enough to charities.


Thai zoo holds escape drill with employee in ostrich costume.

A Thai ZOO held an escaped animal drill with an employee running around in an ostrich costume. CRACKED.COM The wild animal manage- ment plan which simulated various emergency situa- tions, and was capped by an employee being cap- tured wearing an eight foot tall ostrich head.

The Guardian 

White House Twitter Blasts Greene, Gaetz and Kelly on Forgiven PPP Loans.

Conservatives were put on blast by the White House Twitter account for their remarks on student loan forgiveness. CRACKED.COM GOP lawmakers, such as Marjorie Taylor Greene and Matt Gaetz, had strong words about the unfair student loan relief given to the middle class, forget- ting their own PPP loan forgiveness was public.


Maryland man's motion sickness leads to $50,000 lottery prize

A man couldn't go on a cruise thanks to his motion sickness, so he won the lottery instead. Rastita 7 numeroa yhdesta ruuduko Kryssa 17 nummer per rutfort elter on \ 2 3 A 7 S 8 X 10 11 x 12 14 15 16 17 19 18 20 James Howard's motion x 22 23 г. P sickness caused him to stay 25 27 26 20 27 2 30 71 25 26 33 34 35 36 31 32 35 home alone while his wife, 39 40 A P 37 38 39 40 8 PIKA children and mother-in-law 3P 39 E


A local Republican group in Alabama mistakenly posted a picture of a GOP elephant with KKK imagery.

A Republican group in Alabama mistakenly posted an illustration of the GOP elephant with KKK imagery. GRACKED COM The image posted by the group showed three KKK hoods between the legs of the GOP elephant. Black eyes had been added to make the blank space between the legs look like Klansmen.


Jennifer Lopez Cut Dancers From Auditions Because They Were Virgos.

Jennifer Lopez cut dancers during an audition based on their astrological sign. CRACKED.COM According to Glee star Heather Morris, Lopez asked a room of dancers to raise their hand if they were a Vir- go. The August 23 to Sep- tember 22 babies had to pack it up and go home.


Artists set for court battle over who first taped fruit to the wall.

The artist that taped a banana to a wall is facing legal trouble for plagiarism. CRACKED.COM Maurizio Cattelan, who at- tached a banana to a wall with duct tape and is selling several versions for over $100,000, is accused of copyright infringement by Joe Morford - who made his own fruit art in 2000.

The Guardian

Star Trek actress Nichelle Nichols to grace one final voyage into the cosmos.

The late Uhura actress, Nichelle Nichols, will have her ashes launched into space. CRACKED.COM Celestis, Inc. said they'll use a United Launch Alli- ance rocket to launch more than 150 capsules contain- ing DNA samples and greetings, as well as cre- mated remains, on an end- less journey into space.

Fox Weather

A plant-based food company have made a 'human meat burger.’

A Swedish company developed a plant-based burger that tastes like human meat. CRACKED.COM The company Oumph! De- veloped the human meat burger made from soy, mushrooms, and wheat protein as well as a mix of different spices to give it that special zest that says I am eating a person.


Snoop Dogg's cereal 'Snoop Loopz' coming to a breakfast table near you.

Snoop Dogg is launching a breakfast cereal called Snoop Loopz. CRACKED.COM Snoop will launch the cereal under his company, Broadus Foods, which has a number of breakfast items under the Momma Snoop brand, in- cluding grits, oatmeal, pan- cake mix and syrup.


Hungary sacks weather chief after forecast forces fireworks cancellation.

Two weather reporters in Hungary were fired for delaying a firework show with their forecast. CRACKED.COM Technology and Industry Minister Laszlo Palkovics, exercising the right to manage the organization, dismissed Kornelia Radics, the service head, and her deputy Gyula Horvath.

The Guardian

San Francisco chocolate shop in Chinatown teaches employees kung fu to combat crime.

A San Francisco chocolate shop is fighting against crime by teaching its employees kung fu. 3 it GRACKED.COM The odds of turning away from a life of crime after getting your butt whooped by a chocolatier wearing an apron in San Francisco's Chinatown is approximately 100%.

Fox News

Book by George Dawson deemed inappropriate by superintendent from George Dawson Middle School.

George Dawson Middle School deemed George Dawson's book inappropriate. CRACKED.COM Officials at the North Texas school named after Daw- son ruled that a portion of his memoir describing his best friend getting lynched is not appropriate for some students.


Woman accused of stealing Nancy Pelosi’s laptop approved for outing to Renaissance Faire.

A Capitol rioter will be granted an outing to a Renaissance Faire as they await trial. CRACKED.COM Riley Williams, 25, is permitted to leave her 24/7 house arrest for eight hours over the weekend to visit the fair in Lancaster Coun- ty.

Post Gazette

Man Removes Thumb Skin, Pastes On Friend's Hand To Appear For Railway Exam.

A man sliced off his fingerprint so his friend could take a test for him. CRACKED.COM A railway candidate re- moved his thumb skin us- ing a hot pan and pasted it on his friend's thumb with a hope that the friend will clear the biometric verifi- cation and take the recruit- ment exam in his place.


Sydney nightclub bans staring without getting prior ‘verbal consent.’

A nightclub in Sydney is banning staring without verbal consent. CRACKED.COM Club 77 will no longer al- low staring unless the per- son doing the staring gets the prior consent of the person they are staring at. No word on the legality of a cheeky glance or slight ogle.

AU News

Masks are linked to satanic rituals, St. Louis County executive candidate claims in suit.

The Republican nominee in the St. Louis County Executive race claimed masks are satanic. CRACKED.COM Katherine Pinner, who won the nomination but ultimate- ly dropped out, is suing her former employer for mask mandates, saying face cover- ings have been used as tor- ture devices, and are linked to satanic ritual abuse.


Florida activist donates 'In God We Trust' signs written in Arabic to Texas schools.

An activist donated an In God We Trust sign to Texas schools... written in Arabic. WE TRUST IN GOD CRACKED.COM A new TX law requires schools to display donated In God We Trust posters, so Chaz Stevens, an advo- cate for the separation of church and state, is putting the state's stance to the test.

CL Tampa

Dictionaries Rejected From School District Following DeSantis Bill.

Even dictionaries are being rejected from Florida schools after a bill from DeSantis. Oxford The English Dictionary English Dictionary E Dictionary Dictionary Did SECOND SECOND EDITION SECOND EDITION SECOND SECOND EDITION SECOND EDITION S EDITION EDITION E = III IV V VI VII VIII Lo Follow-Harwed Hat-Intervacuan Interval-Looir Dvandva-Follis Cham-Creeky Creel-Duzepere CRACKED.COM Sarasota County Schools can't meet the criteria for HB 1467, which states all reading and instructional materials be reviewed by a district employee with a valid educational media specialist certificate.


Soldier seeking support for PTSD 'disgusted' after he was casually offered euthanasia.

A Veterans Affairs employee suggested euthanasia to a soldier seeking support for PTSD. GRACKED.COM The vet reportedly called VAC for PTSD treatment and was provided medical aid in dying advice, with- out being asked. The fami- ly of the soldier says the exchange disrupted his re- covery progress.


School district reinstates corporal punishment as discipline option for students.

A Missouri school district is bringing back corporal punishment for literal children. CRACKED.COM The change would give principals one more disci- plinary option before stu- dents receive more seri- ous punishments such as suspensions. Skip class? That's a paddlin'.


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