Cracked Archive - Music
6 Absolutely Godawful Follow-Ups To Hit Novelty Songs
Having your novelty song go big is bittersweet, which is why it's no wonder that most bands follow them up a with some weird, embarrassing, desperate stuff.
- By Ira Brooker
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- October 16, 2017
6 Movie Soundtracks With Secrets You Totally Missed
How awesome is John Williams? So awesome that he used musical notation to tell us that Anakin and Padme boning will eventually lead to galactic genocide.
- By JM McNab
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- September 05, 2017
Meet The One Woman Who Inspired Every Love Song Ever
This woman is literally one of the most sung-about humans in the history of the species, and her name is Pattie Boyd.
- By James Netter
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- August 26, 2017
Why History Should Have Prepared Us For Ja Rule's Trickery
Ja Rule? More like 'Ja Fool,' right guys? Right? Hello?
- By Tom Reimann
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- April 30, 2017
Realities of the Rock Star Life 50 Years After Fame
Once upon a time, the Hermits were bigger than the Beatles. Here's what we learned talking to one of the band members.
- By Kevin Ducharme, Ryan Menezes
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- April 29, 2017
7 WTF Musical Supergroups (That Almost Happened)
Our dream supergroups will never actually exist -- but some have gotten closer than others.
- By Carolyn Burke
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- March 30, 2017
How Defining Yourself By The Art You Consume Is Destructive
To challenge DMB's perfection was like arguing that the sky wasn't blue or that sailing wasn't the best thing ever or that Toyota pick-up trucks weren't reliable.
- By J.F. Sargent
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- February 07, 2017
5 Bizarrely Specific Things Musicians Keep Singing About
Once you see or hear these musicians demonstrate these things, you'll never look past them again.
- By Chris Rio
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- October 22, 2016
4 Unsettling Realizations At A Guns N' Roses Reunion Show
Guns N' Roses was of the best concerts I have ever been to. But the awesome cheesy layer on top concealed a layer of foul casserole beneath, replete with canned peas and cougars
- By Felix Clay
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- August 12, 2016
Japanese Musicians Screw Their Fans For Cash (And I'm A Fan)
What the hell is Visual Kei? We talked to a hardcore fan to get the strange lowdown.
- By Cezary Jan Strusiewicz, Sonya Langston
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- August 10, 2016
7 'Friends' Moments That Have Become Horrifying With Age
Everyone on 'Friends' is a sociopath.
- By Anna Drezen
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- June 30, 2016
5 Actors Who Attempted Music (And Failed Miserably)
It's not that actors can't sing or vice versa; it's just that most can't and shouldn't.
- By Ian Fortey, Luis Orozco
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- June 28, 2016
Songs Even Dumber Than The Fringe Groups Performing Them
When you're writing music with a message, the music is only as valuable as that message.
- By Kyle Mulholland
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- June 18, 2016
The 16 Most Baffling Insults In Rap Music History
Rappers are mostly regular people just like you and me. So it should come as no surprise that, on occasion, they say things in their songs that make no sense.
- By Adam Tod Brown
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- June 02, 2016
6 Bands Who Followed Up Their One Hit With Drooling Insanity
The Hansons are kind of weird, guys.
- By Chris Rio
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- June 01, 2016
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