I may simply have fallen victim to expectations, but if someone were to ask me to draw what I thought an Academy Award nominated film composer looked like, I have a general idea of the direction I would go in. I would probably draw a slight, bookish man, the type you might find browsing the wares of a shop full of antiques and curios. Round, owlish glasses would likely be perched on his nose, a balding pate of salt-and-pepper hair. A comfortably fitted sports jacket, in one of the intellectual fabrics, like a tweed or a worsted wool. All I’m saying is, in my mind’s eye, on a spectrum of Anthony Kiedis to Bob Balaban, they’d be heavily, heavily swung towards the Balaban side of things.

Even when I was told that Danny Elfman performed at Coachella, this broad image persisted. I would have expected that same nebbish fellow to be shrunk behind a large organ or piano, or conducting an orchestra with subtle flicks of a wand. What I definitely did not expect was for Danny Elfman to be absolutely, undeniably ripped and covered in tattoos, with an electric guitar slung over his shoulder. At first I figured the picture I was looking at was some reunion tour of a 90s grunge act, one of the few ones where the former frontman actually aged gracefully. I expected Philip Seymour Hoffman and I got redheaded Chris Cornell.

Danny Elfman at Coachella

KROQ on Instagram

Stop making my girlfriend horny, Danny Elfman!

This is the (68 YEAR OLD) guy who composed the Simpsons theme song and did the score for Good Will Hunting? He looks like a guy that would walk out of your mom’s bedroom shirtless and ask what you were playing on your Super Nintendo. In my Elfman research, I did find out that he was a legitimate rockstar in the band Oingo Boingo, which makes a little more sense, but this is still throwing me for a loop. He looks like he’s about to sell me powdered green juice in an instagram reel effectively enough that I truly consider it.

To you, Danny Elfman, I give a resounding, echoing Hell Yeah. Among many other achievements, you’ve earned three things that I consider hugely impressive in this life: an Academy Awards nomination, abs, and a villain named after your band in Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure.

Top Image: The Kuhnster/Pixabay

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