Cracked Archive - Music

Battle of the Sexes: Judging The 8 Most Iconic Bras Ever Worn

You know how people always bitch about science taking time out of its day to solve inconsequential problems while a cure for cancer is still nowhere in sight? Well this is a lot like that. Instead of using this prime comedy real estate to shed light on one of the many issues currently plaguing our great nation, we're talking about titties.

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By Adam Tod Brown, Kristi Harrison
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July 06, 2010

A Review of Armond White's Review of Toy Story 3

Dear Armond White: Watch movies better.

By Cody Johnston
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June 29, 2010

8 Douchebags Who Found This Article By Googling Themselves

Eight individuals who are so self-obsessed that they don't even need nudity to masturbate when they find themselves on the Web.

By Seanbaby
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June 17, 2010

The 7 Most Impossible Rock Stars to Deal With

DMX is not in any way exaggerating when he describes being a bad, bad man in his songs.

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By Chris Bucholz
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June 02, 2010

5 Lovable Animals You Didn't Know Are Secretly Terrifying

Here are a bunch of adorable animals that will probably nonetheless scar you for life. Let's skip the pleasantries and get right down to hyperventilating and swearing at nature, shall we?

By Robert Brockway
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May 27, 2010

10 Survival Tips Now That Google Knows You're On To Them

Now that we\'ve sounded the \'Oh shit, run!!!\' alarm, allow us to tell you where you should be running, and what ammunition will be deemed fashionable once you arrive.

By Chris Bucholz
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May 18, 2010

The 19 Most Hilariously Failed Attempts at Sexy Album Covers

Not every musician is suitable for the role of sexy cover model. Somehow, music producers missed that fact.

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By Nick Coffin
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May 13, 2010

The 5 Most Famous Musicians Who Are Thieving Bastards

We know musicians 'borrow' music all the time, but this is flat ridiculous.

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By Rohan Ramakrishnan
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May 06, 2010

Fastfood Meals for Failures

These are terrible meals invented by awful people who hate you, and they're perfect for anytime it dawns on you that the entirety of human existence is just an insignificant sneeze on the spectrum of time. And I have had every one of them.

By Daniel O'Brien
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April 30, 2010

6 Reasons Facebook 'Likes' are the Beginning of the End

Haven\'t you heard? Facebook is taking over the world, and anything different you find on your homepage do is irrefutable proof.

By Chris Bucholz
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April 27, 2010

8 Horrifying Uses of Branding (Feat. Hello Kitty Pads)

While I understand licensing your trademark for general use to be plastered over any and all products is a good way to make money and makes fans of your trademark happy, I like to think there should be some kind of non-godawful way to go about that.

By Ian Fortey
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April 26, 2010

So You Forgot to File Taxes: Options Other Than Death

So tax day's come and gone and by right about halfway through this sentence or so, some of you will have realized you completely forgot to file your taxes for the year.