Cracked Archive - Movies & TV
It's a depressing notion for aspiring actors that they'll likely not make it in Hollywood. It's an even more depressing notion that a scream has a longer list of acting credits than they ever will.
- By Dan Seitz
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- December 11, 2009
ROBERT PATTINSON: Don't worry Kristen, I will protect you by hurling you against a wall and into a glass table!
- By The Editing Room
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- December 08, 2009
'My Spidey-sense is tingling... due to the awesomeness of OfficeMax!'
- By Rohan Ramakrishnan
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- December 03, 2009
Mental illness is one of those issues that not even smart people have a good grasp of. So we probably shouldn't be surprised that Hollywood's treatment of it is about as informed and respectful as showing up drunk to a stranger's funeral and crapping in the casket.
- By Geoff Shakespeare
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- December 01, 2009
Michael and DOB take you on a guided tour of all thirteen groundbreaking episodes on one face melting page.
- By Daniel O'Brien, Michael Swaim
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- November 26, 2009
Hollywood filmmakers like their women like they like their coffee: shrill, stupid and submissive. And usually not black.
- By Erica Cantin
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- November 20, 2009
She even filled her breast implants with club soda to add the risk of carbonated explosion to her front flipping, which was the main non-pterodactyl way she traveled. Wonder Woman is awesome, and these are her adventures.
- By Seanbaby
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- November 19, 2009
Ask any 10-year-old boy, and he'll tell you: Romance is gross. One look at the average Hollywood movie is going to tell you he might just be right.
- By Jeff Kelly
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- November 17, 2009
2012 is like watching a Special Olympics weightlifting event.
- By Bobby "Fatboy" Roberts
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- November 14, 2009
Even if you're perfectly healthy and have never had a mental illness or dropped acid, your brain can mess with you in a terrifying variety of ways.
- By David O'Shea
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- November 11, 2009
Take a giant gorilla to New York City and put him on display? What could possibly go wrong?
- By Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
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- November 08, 2009
Brought to you by Doritos' New 'We Hate Black People' Cheddar!
- By Mark Hill
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- November 03, 2009
If we've learned anything, it's that humans are only capable of six psychological reactions to a scourge of the undead. And here they are.
- By Michael Swaim
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- October 25, 2009
If it wasn't for Hollywood making a bunch of well-meaning but ham-handed and accidentally racist films, why, the rest of us would have never learned our lessons! Hail our conquering heroes, the real champions of equality in America.
- By Bobby "Fatboy" Roberts
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- October 24, 2009
Believe it or not, there are actually Star Wars stories so terrible they do more damage to the source material than Jar Jar Binks could have ever hoped to.
- By CRACKED Staff
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- October 22, 2009
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