Now that we've ingested and pooped out our best jokes on the greatest interview of the year, I'd like to step back a moment and remind everyone why kids like Willow and Jaden aren't so bad.
There's a lot of good reasons to dislike Lena Dunham, so make sure you pick an actually good reason.
On a day when the Canadian parliament was attacked by a terrorist, a serial killer confessed to killing at least seven women in Indiana, everyone was asking one thing: 'What happened to Renee Zellweger's face?'
Thanks to gossip sites, we have a fairly intimate knowledge of all of our favorite celebrities. However, there's always the unconfirmed stuff that we're pretty sure is true.
One of America's favorite pastimes is to predict what will happen to our favorite celebrities long after the limelight has faded.
Think of the mind-numbingly awesome movies we might wind up with if Hollywood grew a pair and adapted some of the weirdest legends out there.
You can still probably find them by Googling 'Hello, I'm kind of a terrible person, give me something that does not legally belong to me as quickly as possible.'
Jon Stewart is better than you.
It is damn near impossible to make any questionable comments about a work of art's inherent quality -- unless, of course, that artwork was made by radically out-of-touch celebrities.
Despite the fact that these things are almost always complete B.S., sometimes -- just sometimes -- a celebrity conspiracy theory emerges that is so good, we kind of wish it was true.
It's one thing to watch a movie and not recognize a famous celebrity under pounds of makeup. It's another thing entirely when they look all normal and crap.