Move over, “you complete me,” and “I wish I knew how to quit you” – it seems certified badass scream queen, Megan Fox, and her beau, rapper Machine Gun Kelly (who may or may not just be Pete Davidson cosplaying as a somehow even more Midwestern Eminem) have taken ultra-romantic, Hollywood sweet nothings to the next level, forever redefining love for a modern generation with just three words – “I am weed.” 

In an explosive, ultra-steamy interview published in British GQ this week, the dynamic duo took a break from being painfully hot, doing very naughty things on tables at their Airbnb to break down the ins-and-outs (no pun intended) of their romance – including how they first met. 

Although as the outlet noted, the pair first technically got to know each other on the set of Midnight In The Switchgrass back in 2020,  Fox says she and Kelly briefly crossed paths a year earlier in 2019 while attending a GQ party in Los Angeles. Although they told the publication that they don't recall seeing each other's faces --or, as the Jennifer's Body actress put it “I definitely would have remembered his face,” the encounter left quite the impression. 

‘I just remember this tall, blond, ghostly creature and I looked up and I was like, ‘You smell like weed,'" she said. “He looked down at me and he was like, ‘I am weed.’ Then, I swear to God, he disappeared like a ninja in a smoke bomb.'” she continued, making everyone reading the article wonder if she actually ran into MGK or just a really stoned, bleached-blonde version of Groot. 

While most may chalk this up to a strange, one-off instance, or perhaps Kelly trying to impress his future girlfriend with his best David Copperfield impression, Fox says she has a theory surrounding the short-lived encounter, the … mystical forces of the universe?

“I think we weren’t allowed to see each other yet,” she explained. “We weren’t supposed to run into each other that night, so our souls, our spirit guides, were luring us away from each other, because you literally had no face, like that thing from Spirited Away. It is hard to see his face in general, but really he had no face that night,” she said, singlehandedly inventing the second most romantic line in all of pop culture history. 

"Thank God, what torture had I known you were there and I couldn’t get to you," she said, addressing her beau. “It was better that I didn’t know.’”

Moral of the story? If you ever want to date Megan Fox, channel your inner version of Groot – so long as that version of Groot happens to be a walking, talking, intergalactic pot plant.

Top Image: Instagram 

For more internet nonsense, follow Carly on Instagram @HuntressThompson_ on TikTok as @HuntressThompson_, and on Twitter @TennesAnyone.

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