Cracked Archive - Celebrities

Elon Musk and Grimes Announce Split, Surprise Surprise
Love is dead.
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- By Carly Tennes
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5
Uma Thurman Shares She Had an Abortion as a Teen In Light of Texas's New Law
"The abortion I had as a teenager was the hardest decision of my life, one that caused me anguish then and that saddens me even now, but it was the path to the life full of joy and love that I have experienced," Thurman wrote.
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- By Carly Tennes
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34
6 Beloved Icons With Skeletons In Their Closets
Some people look towards beloved celebrity icons for comfort. Turns out that's the exact wrong place to look.
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- By Michael Dawson
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82
JoJo Siwa Makes History Competing As 1/2 of 'Dancing With The Stars' First Same-Sex Pair
One small (cha-cha) step for bow enthusiasts, one giant grand jete for the LGBTQAI+ community.
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- By Carly Tennes
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43
We Are All Little Lads Who Love Berries and Cream
How a 2007 Starburst ad became one of 2021's hottest memes.
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- By Carly Tennes
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12
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LeVar Burton Is Over 'Jeopardy!', May Host His Own Game Show Instead
I'll take "eat your heart out, 'Jeopardy!'" for $2,000, LeVar.
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- By Carly Tennes
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4
Andrew Garfield Sounds Off On Allegedly Leaked Pics From 'Spider-Man: No Way Home' Set
Here's what the ex-Spider-Man had to say about the MCU rumor mill.
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- By Carly Tennes
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3
6 Batty Purchases That Helped Bankrupt Nicolas Cage
Nic Cage’s finances led to some interesting career choices, and it’s absolutely wild to look at some of the purchases that landed him in that pickle.
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- By Mac Faber
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43
Cara Delevingne's 'Peg The Patriarchy' Vest Seriously Sucks
Because nothing sticks with the Met Gala's theme of 'American Independence' quite like allegedly stealing from a small creator.
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- By Carly Tennes
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24
Which Presidential Painting Portfolio Sucks Least
Speak softly and carry a big brush.
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- By Cedric Voets
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10
9 Of The Met Gala's Weirdest Looks, Reviewed
If there's one thing Cracked is definitively known for -- aside from being the internet's only comedy website -- it's our expert fashion reviews. From Frank Ocean's 'Shrek' baby to AOC's taxation dress, we break down the night's wildest looks.
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- By Carly Tennes
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14
Daniel Radcliffe Is 32, Sorry
"When I tell people that I am 30, people, they go sort of pale. They look like Inception at the beach at the end when they’ve aged a thousand years."
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- By Carly Tennes
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4
How Joe Rogan Went From Fairly Unknown Comic To Podcasting's Demi-God
Here’s the thing about Rogan’s comedy: it didn't have to change much when he jumped to podcasting.
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- By Matt Solomon
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51
'Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings' Proves Lil Nas X Survived Thanos's Snap
"I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road, I'm gonna ride because I wasn't willed out of existence by an alien warlord," -- Lil Nas X, probably.
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- By Carly Tennes
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8
Mark Hamill Tweets 'Mark Hamill,' Breaks The Internet
Let's see if this works: Mark Hamill.
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- By Carly Tennes
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6