Cracked Archive - Celebrities
Teddy Roosevelt Scarred A Young Dr. Seuss For Life
Horton hears a bull moose.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
-
21
21 Even Jim Gaffigan, The World's Most Apolitical Comedian, Is Sick Of Trump
We're in a Hot Pocket of hell.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 149
Tucker Carlson Keeps Finding A New Low
Tucker Carlson's latest remarks are worthy of him being fired. But sadly, so were all the others.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 172
Bella Thorne's OnlyFans Might Be The Future Of The Internet
Imagine a world in which every celebrity had an OnlyFans.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 34
'Shark Tank' Is Making Viewers Dumber At Business
If you're modeling your business decisions around the Sharks or the entrepreneurs on the show, then you won't be in business very long.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 20
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Britney Spears Is Hopefully One Step Closer To Being Free
If you've seen the hashtag.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 35
Even Taylor Swift Is Done With This BS
Taylor Swift is going in on politics like it's one of her ex-boyfriends.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 48
Sam Neill From 'Jurassic Park' Runs the Best Farm Now
'What’s amusing me today? It's mostly my duck.'
- Authors
- By Amanda Mannen
- Published
- Comments
- 20
Behold! The Most Powerful (And Horny) Celebrity Couple Of All Time
My favorite celebrity couple can rip the spines out of your favorite celebrity couple.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 41
If 'Ellen' Actually Ends, Then Who Should Replace Her?
The replacement for Ellen has some big sneakers to fill.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 62
George R.R. Martin Got Into Some Racist Trouble At The Hugo Awards
Old Martin yells at the cloud, tries to summon Cthulhu.
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 100
6 Little-Known Weird Tales From Famous Weirdos
Only a cynic would write off these zanies as mere weirdos.
- Authors
- By Ryan Menezes
- Published
- Comments
- 56
Mickey Rourke Wants To Fight Elon Musk (For Johnny Depp's Honor)
Kids, stay off of social media or a celebrity might threaten to kick your ass.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 33
It's Hard To Imagine, But Ellen Might Not Be So Nice
Apparently saying "Be Kind" and actually doing it are two very different things.
- Authors
- By Dan Duddy
- Published
- Comments
- 69
Guy From 'Westworld' Doesn't Like To Talk About His African Gold Mine
Who knew being a celebrity gold digger would have negative consequences?
- Authors
- By Cedric Voets
- Published
- Comments
- 18
