The Comedy Hall Of Fame is filling up fast, revealing a need for mass expansion. Construction workers fill the halls as new wings and galleries are added by the hour. A monorail is being added to accommodate the mile-long hallways. Here are 14 more classic jokes and bits for the rapidly expanding Comedy Hall Of Fame.

Brian Regan

Brian Regan


“I heard on the news once, and my uncle does this. The government will pay certain farmers to not grow corn. Wow, where's my check? That'd be great. "Hey, what do you do for a living?" "Well, I don't grow corn. Get up at the crank of noon, make sure there's no corn growin'. You know we used to not grow tomatoes, but there's more money in not growin' corn."

Daniel Tosh

“Don't you love it when people in school are like, ‘I'm a bad test taker?’ You mean, you're stupid. Oh, you struggle with that part where we find out what you know? Oh. No, no, I can totally relate. See, because I'm a brilliant painter, minus my God-awful brushstrokes. Oh, how the masterpiece is crystal up here (points to head), but once paint hits canvas, I develop Parkinson's.”

John Oliver

John Oliver

Comedy Central

“Let me make one thing perfectly clear to you: this is not writing. I have absolutely no idea how this sentence I’m currently saying is going to finish. When and if it does, I can only hope it makes some kind of coherent ceramic pineapple.”

Levell Crawford on ghosts

“That would get on my damn nerve: I'm up in my house; the ghost's like, 'Get out. Get out.' I say, 'I heard you, you son of a b*tch. Why you didn't say that sh*t when I was just looking at the house? Now they got my damn deposit; I done unpacked. You want me to get out? You get my goddamn deposit back. You pack all this sh*t, and you pay for the U-Haul.'”

Rowan Atkinson

A bit selected from Rowan Atkinson Live, dirty names is a classic Atkinson joke that stays evergreen.

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Top Image: Comedy Central


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