The Marvel-Scorsese Feud Is Dumb As Balls, Won't Die

It wasn't an interesting debate to begin with, and it hasn't gotten any better since. But we better get used to it, because we're going to be talking about the Marvel movies vs. Martin Scorsese feud until the sun explodes and takes the Earth with it.

There are probably a precious few of you left who have no idea what I'm talking about. Oh, you sweet innocent children. What I would give to be in your shoes, to have a mind free of this useless argument, which is being kept alive by entertainment news outlets to justify their own existence.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

This debate, now celebrating what feels like its centennial, has gotten so out of hand that Scorsese tried to settle it once and for all with a lengthy, well-reasoned New York Times essay ... and even that wasn't enough to sate the appetites of entertainment journalism. Now the story is about what people involved with superhero movies have to say about Scorsese's response to the responses to his original assertion that superhero movies are more like theme park rides than "cinema."

This debate has left me with no other recourse than to load myself into a cannon and shoot myself into a wall! Goodbye!  Vittorio Zunino Celotto/Getty"This debate has left me with no other recourse than to load myself into a cannon and shoot myself into a wall! Goodbye! "

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

We should all shut up about this already, including me. But until then, it's very funny that after Scorsese said superhero movies are disqualified from being "cinema" because they're risk-averse, Marvel Studios head honcho Kevin Feige's response to was to boast that they had the gumption to kill off half their roster of characters in one movie, gliding over how every person on Earth knew they would all be back a year later. FFS, that is the Singular Unbreakable Law of Superheroes. God, this debate sucks, and we're all worse for having been a part of it. At least Parasite is making a shit-ton of money.

Continue Reading Below

Advertisement

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's BunnyEars.com. And listen for his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast.

For more, check out Reminder: Edible Gold Is A Ripoff And Only For Rich Morons and Please Don't Spoil The Obvious Twist In 'Last Christmas'.

Also, we'd love to know more about you and your interesting lives, dear readers. If you spend your days doing cool stuff, drop us a line at iDoCoolStuff at Cracked dot com, and maybe we can share your story with the entire internet.

Follow us on Facebook. If you like jokes and stuff.