Reminder: Edible Gold Is A Ripoff And Only For Rich Morons

Counterpoint: just eat food that's not made of gold!
Reminder: Edible Gold Is A Ripoff And Only For Rich Morons

People get understandably infuriated at the opulence casually expressed by the wealthy and powerful. When news broke that Jeff Bezos' new Washington, D.C. home will have 25 bathrooms, people couldn't help but contrast his desire to urinate hither and yon with the fact that his employees at Amazon warehouses are pissing in jars because they're afraid they'll be reprimanded for taking a bathroom break. An overwhelming majority of this largesse deserves to be mercilessly dunked on, except for one example: gold leaf sheets that get draped over extravagantly priced desserts.

Videos like the one above get shared about once a month, which gives the internet a chance to renew its hatred for pastries that seem specifically engineered to piss us off. That said, don't bother being mad at the idea that people are eating gold. Gold leaf sheets are a hilarious con used by high-end bakeries to trick rich idiots into paying 1,000% markup on a donut. You can buy 100 sheets of food-grade 24-karat gold leaf from Wish for $3. The donut in the video looks like it's covered in one and a half to two sheets. At most, that's about 8 cents' worth of gold. In this, we can find a valuable life lesson: Just because something is gold doesn't mean it's worth something.

So yeah, gold leaf is a simple and fairly pedestrian decorative touch that Instagram bakeries are using to con foodie influencers (and general everyday rubes) into paying exorbitant sums for what is essentially a Little Debbie snack cake covered in gold that's probably better huffed than eaten. Sure, it's stuff like this that gives us even more reason to eat the rich, but now we won't feel like hypocrites when we cover them in gold leaf before doing so.

Luis can be found on Twitter and Facebook. Check out his regular contributions to Macaulay Culkin's And listen for his "Meditation Minute" segments on the Bunny Ears podcast.

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