We took whole articles, and then, using a USDA-inspected process, selected only the finest informational snouts and hooves and lovingly crafted the equivalent of fact hot dogs -- for you, the Internet. Share them with your unenlightened friends on social media, or put them in your SpaghettiOs.
They're delicious and might even make you look smarter. We call them Crackedoids...click on the pics for more!
Some say the real thing can help you grow as a person. But prepare to stagger around for about eight hours in a pulsing, Technicolor sewer all your own.
The Itty Bitty Titty Committee responsible for this law's enforcement is certainly made up of Australia's finest skeeve-balls.
Good on 'em! Smokes are too expensive for these young charges to be sneaking around and hotboxing.
No one ever suspects you have eight Big Macs under the trench coat. Ever.
When you've got "The Great" slugged onto the end of your name, you can build all the artificial landmasses you damn well please.
It's hard out there for millionaire purveyors of garbage pizza.
Bawitdaba, pass the green beans.