Rene Belloq, Indy's evil French counterpart and the guy who convinces the Nazis to "test" the Ark before delivering it to Hitler, evidently knew enough about the artifact to wear the right ceremonial garb and speak the correct Hebrew words to get it open, but he forgot one important detail: don't freaking look inside or you'll be killed.
Why would Belloq know that part, you ask? Mainly because it's right there in the Bible. According to the King James translation: "And he smote the men of Bethshemesh, because they had looked into the ark of the LORD, even he smote of the people fifty thousand and threescore and ten men: and the people lamented, because the LORD had smitten many of the people with a great slaughter."
"Ohhh, so THAT's what 'smote' mea --"
Obviously Indy did his homework better than Belloq, because he knew he had to close his eyes to be spared by the Ark's power. Presumably Hitler himself would have known how to use the Ark, too, since he was the one who first learned about it and who sent the Nazis to Egypt to fetch it. Meanwhile, it looks like Belloq sort of skimmed through the instructions and called it a day.
In the end it all comes down to Belloq being shitty at his job, which isn't really that much of a surprise considering that his entire archeological method consisted of "following Indiana Jones and stealing the shit he finds."
Douglas A. McDonnell is a regular participant in our Photoplasty contests. If you're looking for something else to do, then check them out, and maybe submit an entry yourself.
For more supervillain gaffs, check out 7 Badass Cartoon Villains Who Lost to Retarded Heroes and 5 Batman Villains Too Lame To Survive a Single Issue.
And stop by LinkSTORM because we damn well know you aren't working today.
And don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Twitter to get sexy, sexy jokes sent straight to your news feed.
Do you have an idea in mind that would make a great article? Then sign up for our writers workshop! Do you possess expert skills in image creation and manipulation? Mediocre? Even rudimentary? Are you frightened by MS Paint and simply have a funny idea? You can create an infograpic and you could be on the front page of Cracked.com tomorrow!