CRACKED ROUND-UP: Christine O'Donnell Edition
A lot of people have been giving some poor witch named Christine O'Donnell hell for having the courage to come out about her alternative lifestyle. We at Cracked find the mockery she has faced incredibly offensive. Our own intern pool features a great deal of pagans, some of whom have turned to dark elder gods for an escape from their squalid lives, and others who are simple undocumented immigrant workers from various tropical islands.
Last Sunday, Cody learned that starting an Internet meme is harder than it seems. Soren reviewed the most useless Skymall products and Chris Bucholz topped 30 Rock with a live column. Brockway showed us Link's greatest bender while Seanbaby made light of Schizophrenia. Dan O'Brien closed us off with a thoughtful look at Luke Skywalker's sexual history (or lack thereof).
A DOSE OF REALITY
|5 Reasons The Future Will Be Ruled By B.S.
Because the present totally isn't ruled by bullshit.
Notable Comment:"I'll be taking that "Capitalism. Because spending is easier than thinking." quote and not giving you credit for it, btw. "
ZacharySimon, we feel we owe you a warning. Cracked.com retains the services of a trained Assault Opposum at all times. He is badly addicted to PCP and does not feel pain.
|5 Things You Won't Believe Aren't In the Bible
You mean all those crazy, ranting southern Baptist preachers aren't flawless authorities on the Bible? Well color us shocked.
Notable Comment:"I'm sure Wisconsin is better than Hell. "
We're not so sure, gclure. Hell has places that are open after 9:30 PM.
|6 Books Everyone (Including Your English Teacher) Got Wrong
Gosh, books are hard.
Notable Comment:This is the most "arguing about Nietzche" we've seen since freshman Philosophy.
|6 Death-Defying Stunts That Are Secretly Easy to Do
Three members of our legal department resigned as a result of this article.
Notable Comment: "Easy isn't the same as "not dangerous". For example, it's easy to drive drunk, but that doesn't mean it's not dangerous."
Scythepuppet fails to mention that it is also a ton of fun to drive drunk, provided you've got a field in the middle of nowhere and the proper "drivin' music".
|The 7 Most Offensive Adaptations of Classic Comic Books
Notable Comment: "God, this is like reading a traffic accident. "
boradis, this may be the single most apt comment ever written.
Agents of Cracked
|Defamation of Character: With a Vengeance
Is there a Goat-Fucking Hall of Fame?
YOU YOU YOU!
|21 Everyday Annoyances of Famous Fictional Characters
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, If Horror Movies Were Truly Horrifying
Columbian Uprising is filmed in front of a live studio audience
Most men would rather die than fold laundry.
Citizen! Explain what that human meant by "Gay." You have five seconds to comply.
Well, Billy, when we wear the masks, the bullies can't see us cry.
PICTURED ABOVE: The Rosie O'Donnell sex tape
The wolf is still attending counseling.
The penalty was for unnecessary fabulousness.
Next week on "So You Think You Can Prance."
Most people thought that the landmine memorial was in pretty bad taste.
I knew I shouldn't have hired the Salvador Dali Wrecking Service.
"Look, Sarge - you want him to have a parking ticket so badly - you give it to him..."
The rifle says "He's in charge" The grass skirt says "of my heart"
All a man needs is three things: Shade, a big stick, and clothing that makes sex a breeze.