BIG MOMMA'S WEREWOLF!
Near Misses: The 6 Worst Movies Hollywood Almost Made
Robot cowboys? Good one!
Notable Comment: Saul Goode says "Some folks say that Willie Greene, Was the baddest muthafucka the world has ever seen. But take a real good shit and screw your wig on tight. And I'll tell ya about the bad muthafucka called Dolemite." Hell yeah! Why, we heard that the day he was dropped from his Mammy's ass, he slapped his Pappy's face and said, 'From now on, cocksucka, I'm running this place.' True story. And if he sees a ghost, what does he do? He cuts a mothafucka.
NO MORE NUMA!
The 9 Most Obnoxious Memes Ever to Escape the Web
Internet memes, like deformed freak-children, should be kept safely locked away and out of the view of the public. The parents can laugh and poke fun, of course, but the little freak child should not, under any circumstances, reach the outside world.
Notable Comment: We think Sweetlips speaks for everyone when he/she says "Dear Cracked, I am shocked and disgusted by your use of the word "meme." I have no basis for this besides "why the fuck not" and I whine because I have a penis that is small. So small, in fact, that if a picture of it was ever realeased on the internet it would most certainly be a mem...nevermind. Singed, Cracked Readers."
TIN TIN'S A RACIST!
5 Superhero Movie Scenes They'll Never Let You See
We're also pretty sure there's an issue with Little Lulu where she murders a drifter and leaves him in the alley behind the malt shop. She was never apprehended.
Notable Comment: This week in Comments That Have Nothing to do with the Article, enjoy a long, passionate debate about which country is the most racist, and make sure you stick around for an irrelevant sidebar about free speech.
YOU YOU YOU!
The Campaigns Candidates Wish They Could Run
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? Check out this week's contest about Websites from before the internet was invented. and you can be.
"Actually, I changed my mind, make me one of those little dogs."
"Where did the Dark Load EVILOUS park his chariot of doom!?"
"Do you mean your Volvo Steve?"
"Yes the Volvo of doom."
You play with me and you're playing with cardboard fire.
The movie itself didn't really make much sense, but Mel Gibson's remake of Biodome was fucking awesome.
On its first real test, the Gimp's emergency escape bike revealed several design flaws.
The first test of the "Gay Bomb" exceeded everyone's expectations.
Caterpillar style kung fu never seemed to work as well as other styles.
At the end of this thing is the Corona bottling plant.
Of all the unfunny and cruel pranks his handlers played on him, "invisible mackerel" was the one Splashy hated the most.
After complaing that his date didn't go so well the crew teach Flipper how to "grab them titties!"
"This is Mission Control. You are now cleared for blowjob."
Toilets in france scare me...
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