EVERYONE IS CRAZY!
7 Insane Conspiracies That Actually Happened
We've taken the time to separate the bat-shit insane from the bat-shit insane-but-also-true conspiracy theories. You're welcome, though you probably don't feel much better about anything.
Notable Comment: Looking for some of the most retarded 9/11-related conspiracy garbage on the net? Check the comments section of this article!
5 Movie Fighting Styles Too Awesome to Actually Exist
Yeah, we know we published the article, but we still don't believe it. The Hadoken is real. It can be done. We've seen it. We've fucking seen it OK? It has to be real.
Notable Comment: Bojac6 asks "Does anybody else remember that episode of Next Gen where Riker fights his father in something called "Mega Ninjitsu" or something that actually consisted of being blindfolded in stupid plastic armor and using a big stick that had some sort of sonar built into one end and a big foam pad on the other? That definitely was too awesome to exist." Wow. No. No. No one remembers that episode of Next Gen where Riker fights his father but you sure did reveal how much you know about Star Trek. Yeah. That totally happened.
The 7 Most Terrifying Corporate Mascots All-Time
Notable Comment: MaxProwess says "I'd rather wake up with Dr. Rockso The Rock 'n' Roll Clown's hand in my pocket than to ever meet the old Ronald McDonald. Or even the current one. I also remember when I was young, I use to be scared of every fucking Disney character. There was this one time we went to Disneyland and I couldn't get near Micky, Minnie, Goofy or any other character without freaking out. If you think about it now, Micky and Minnie are mouses and could transmit the plague and there was also a chance that Goofy was a stray, could have bitten me and givin me rabies. If Hannah Montana was around at the time, she would of convinced my father, who never drinks, to start drinking and then convince him to beat me. What a twat!" Nailed it! She's a total bitch!
YOU YOU YOU!
30 Things That Should Never Be Adapted to Film
Cereal characters. Some guy Photoshopped a picture of cereal characters, and then we gave him some money. Yes, it was sort of brilliant. But, c'mon. You could have come up with that? Make something awesome for this week's Supervillain Evil Plan Flowcharts and you can be.
Dennis Kucinich! Also, someone else died and Lex is already making fun of him. Finally, we've got the week in douchebaggery. It's the news, but, in a way, isn't everything news? Yeah. We think so.
Chinese History X.
Editor's pick (tie):
Robby always carries a sponge to wipe the pesky peasants off his work boots.
"I found the dope! Yeah, it was in his ass!"
"...And that's why it's called 'Poland'."
This Mary Poppins display has been sponsored by Astroglide.
I wish to complain about my male escort. I said Send me an Asian with a set of guns and packing something like a baby's arm. NOT THIS!!!!
"Honey, put another layer of guns on! It's cold outside!"
Ted cheats at thumb wrestling.
Editor's pick (tie):
"WHAT did you say about my Mother?!?! Hold me back Jimmy....hold me back."
"He's a real sweetie when he isn't hungry for souls."
Many don't realize that street bums are an entirely different species. Here we see Hobo Erectus in
the pupa stage.
....And that's why Optimus Prime doesn't let the autobots hang out with Richard Gere anymore.
Picture of a Jaguar giving birth.
Converse Trainers. When you absolutely positively have to kill every mother fucker in the room,
accept no substitute.
It was everyone's worst fear:
The emo kids... they were indesctructible...
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