Cracked Round-Up: Latin Edition

By:

Quis es tu? Sum es Cracked.com.


Brockway started our week off with a hate-filled diatribe against Clippy. Next up, Chris Bucholz gave us a useful guide to legal slander, while Seanbaby made reality dating shows even worse. Dan O'Brien finished us off by insulting the memory of a national icon and also Mila Kunis.

EVIL
6 Web How-To's That Are Apparently For Supervillains
The Internet: your one-stop source for thousands of insanely dangerous DIY projects.


Notable Comment: "but how do I get chemically burned in such a way that it makes me crazy AND gives me some terrifying facial gimmick?"

BIGMIKE, it sounds to me like you haven't been reading your Batman comics as regularly as you should be.

PSYCHOBABBLE
6 Bullshit Facts About Psychology That Everyone Believes
Cracked: Teaching you that Common Knowledge is bullshit since 1955.


Notable Comment: "I keep my anger supressed with video games & I keep my cannibalistic fantasies supressed with zombie movies. Om nom nom."

likalaruku, it's not healthy to bottle up your cannibalistic urges deep inside. Take a nice trip to Cambodia or New Zealand and indulge yourself.



SALAMANDERS
The 6 Most Horrific Bosses of All Time
Reading this article makes us happy to be employed under the benevolent aegis of Jack O'Brien. We're all happy to come into work every day...or else.


Notable Comment: "This article failed to make a crucial distinction: some of these bosses did what they did to human beings, and some did it to unionized employees. The first group of bosses were too harsh, beyond any doubt; but the latter group were unquestionably too lenient (if I read your article correctly, an unconscionable number of union members were left alive)."

LeCracquere, do you sometimes find yourself wishing you'd been born in 1880?


RAPTASTIC
The 15 Most Baffling Boasts in the History of Rap
We don't claim to understand rap, but we admire the lifestyle. What is more quintessentially American than rhinestone encrusted pimp cups and hoes wearing golden thongs?


Notable Comment:"'Be A Man' by Macho Man is a much better album than "Hulk Rules" by Hulk Hogan & The Wrestling Boot Band. Except for the song "Hulkster In Heaven" cause that track is off the hook."

Congratulations, boombalonga, this is the most depressing post in the history of the Internet.

HORSE POOP
The 5 Ballsiest Lies Ever Passed Off As Journalism
This just goes to prove that the only reliable news source in the world is Cracked.com. We only lie when it's funny. Or when Wikipedia is taking a super long time to load.


Notable Comment:"Are they real newspaper shots? whats with the Darth Vader? is that before or after star wars? "

pdark007, that's the most adorable comment we think we've ever read. Yes, all those images are real. Every last one of them.




SWAIM
8 Local News Segments Gone Horribly Wrong
Beautiful, terrible Swaim.


YOU YOU YOU!
17 Terrible Jobs We'll Need In The Future
We're practically giving money away! Wait, not practically. Totally. We're totally giving away money to people, people with mediocre to decent Photoshop skills. People like you. Wouldn't you like to be a person like you? This week, you can be by entering our latest contest, Lessons in Science (According to Hollywood).


Funny photos. Funnier captions. Submitted by YOU. Voted on by the People. Think you're funnier than this week's winners? Contribute your own.

8.27.09:

Awkward Silence of the Lambs.
by SenorSty

Editor's pick:

Old MacDonald had some kids. S-H-A-M-E.
by Leaf

8.26.09:

"Hope this doesn't BUG anybody!" "Bob if you make one more pun I will ****ing kill you."
by ChaseMitchell

Editor's pick:

The Anti-Pussy Wagon
by tommy25

8.25.09:

I'll get that ****ing glove back if its the last thing I do.
by GreyGear

Editor's pick:

If there is a God, he's carrying what's left of Kirsten Dunst in there.
by ChaseMitchell

8.24.09:

Oh thank god Stacy, when you said he was different your father and I assumed you were bringing a black guy home.
by navybond007

Editor's pick:

Thanks, eHarmony!
by Versus

8.23.09:

Japanese family tree
by SOBoatboy

Editor's pick:

We call it the Aristocrats.
by Red_Star

8.22.09:

As a supervillian, it's important to manage your finances well. For example, you don't want to blow your budget on your super suit and have nothing left over for transport.
by bcanders

Editor's pick:

Some speedtraps are easier to spot than others.
by Listless

8.21.09:

Somewhere, a mannequin has woken up in a tub of ice.
by Drassixe

Editor's pick:

No I said ARMOIRE, not arm wall!
by Tessica

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