It is a cardinal rule of the internet every website must have food takes, and we here at Cracked take our food takes as seriously as, say, Batman takes his steak. We're so serious about food that we urge to stop everything and read about how the food pyramid is lies and red flags. More seriously, we'll keep you up-to-date on the latest food trends from the 80s as well as dining in medieval times, just in case you have an American Psycho or Crusades-themed party to throw. And most seriously of all: pizza. Not only do we settle the New York vs Chicago pizza debate, we taste test Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles pizza. Like we said, serious research for serious takes. Now pass us some napkins, we got pizza grease on our chins.