Jack reported all of this, like any good employee who doesn't particularly want to be accused of securing ties to brutal and infamous dictators. This is the part where you'd expect an inspirational montage -- the corrupt big shots being led away by police while a young upstart promises to clean things up -- but no, welcome to the world of business. "Nothing much happened. Top management thanked us for our service, and business went on as usual," Jack said. "I was unexpectedly promoted out of the team, despite not applying for any other job. My boss told me it was in recognition of my diligence. I was never made explicitly aware that I was given this job to quiet me up, but I now realize that I was shifted before I could dig too deeply. I was transferred to the other side of the country, off the beaten path from head office with none of my old colleagues. I was given tasks that didn't appear to amount to anything and had conversations with my boss every three months."
Jack's boss, Riadh Ben Aissa, on his way to make sure nothing else has been diligently recognized lately.
Jack eventually found a better-paying job at another company, and so far he's fairly confident that its CEO doesn't play basketball with Kim Jong-Un on the weekends. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police later discovered SNC's shenanigans, because Mounties really are good for more than riding horses and wearing funny hats.
"SNC was punished pretty harshly," Jack said. "They were banned for an extended period from bidding on any projects monitored by the World Bank. Also, the senior vice president of the construction division was arrested for fraud, money laundering, and embezzlement, while the VP was arrested for that dictator extraction thing."
Peter McCabe / Montreal Gazette
They should be thankful they weren't punished via anal impalement like their buddy was.
On the other hand, SNC is still a massive and successful company that soldiered through this and an impressive variety of other awful scandals. "Another huge penalty was market correction. Because they were getting so much bad press, the share price was seriously affected, so the top executives, who are often paid with stock incentives, lost a ton of money," Jack said. "Basically, a bunch of rich white dudes were significantly less rich. Still really rich, though."
Each had to wait several months before they could afford a 20th Bentley, and it was the worst.
We guess the lesson is that if a regular person works hard to uncover massive corruption, eventually they'll be quietly shuffled to the side -- but if we're lucky, a large government bureaucracy will coincidentally look into it, and kind of but not really punish the offenders.
Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a Cracked columnist, interviewer, and editor. Contact him at email@example.com.
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