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Robert Brockway

Robert Brockway is a former senior editor and columnist for Cracked.com. He is the author of the post-apocalyptic horror epic Carrier Wave, the cyberpunk novel Rx: A Tale of Electronegativity, the comedic non-fiction essay collection Everything is Going to Kill Everybody, and The Vicious Circuit, a punk rock urban fantasy series from Tor Books. He lives in Tucson, Arizona with his wife Meagan and their three dogs, Detective Martin Riggs, Detective Roger Murtaugh, and Penny (she did not make the force). Find more information about his work on his own site, http://www.robertbrockway.net.

A Journey Through the Healthcare Apocalypse With Glenn Beck

At that he suddenly choked off a sob - you could tell the words \'dick\' and \'work\' appearing together in the same sentence pained him. I slapped his shoulder reassuringly, \'listen, man, I was exaggerating. Honestly, it only does the work of two - maybe three cocks, tops.\'

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Why Crimes Would Never Get Solved at a TV Police Station

\'We all work best alone at this station,\'Cheesesteak replied, his mouth full of fatness and tongue \'but it\'s procedure. Every straight man needs a wacky partner, and vice versa. And I tell you what: It was the best thing that ever happened to me. I can't count how many times Sergeant Philly\'s saved my ass.\' \'Philly and Cheesesteak?\'Rock b

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Quantum Leap: The R Rated Version

The furious, seriously hungover man who really did not have time for this shit awoke to find himself in the past, facing a mirror image that was not his own. Fortunately, contact with his own time was maintained through brain-wave transmissions with Al, a project observer sent back to make sure that the stranger A.) Doesn\'t irreparably damage the

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8 Amazing Stories of Ninja Failure

We tend to think of ninjas as anachronistic creatures of myth, but I\'m here to tell you the ninja is completely real. He is alive and well in our modern day culture. It\'s just that he sucks now, and is usually under arrest.

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Choose Your Drug-Fueled Misadventure: Dragon Ass, Takin Names

It\'s the kind of day where strangers smile sincerely upon greeting you, where life seems to hunker down and sit a spell, where good fortune hangs thick in the air like pollen; basically, it\'s a great day to huff ether and try to pickpocket winning tickets from old people down at the track.

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5 Disturbing Ways the Human Body Will Evolve in the Future

We don\'t think of ourselves as changing: We\'re the same basic meat popsicles we\'ve always been. But some of the surprising changes that the future holds in store for the human body are ball-shatteringly disturbing, so you\'d better have an iron stomach if you plan on reading this (though if not, don\'t worry; those are probably in the pipeline t

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My Field Trip to the Large Hadron Collider

\'Oh, I\'m the Large Hadron Collider! Look at me, I\'m toootally gonna find supersymmetry! I\'m sooo great!\' Psh. Whatever, dick. Call us back when you stop getting your ass handed to you by birds.

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