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29 Things Animals Should Not Be Able to Do

By:: Cracked Writers; Timon DJ Spajic

October 02, 2023

29 Things Animals Should Not Be Able to Do

Animals often work under Darwinian constraints, forced to evolve in order to survive. The alternative, of course, is extinction. And so, to fight for their existence, animals change in all sorts of ways, many times picking up new abilities along the way that would otherwise seem impossible. Abilities like…

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The mimic octopus can instantly transform itself to look like other animals. These octopuses can mimic several animals in rapid succession (most animals can only mimic one other species). They contort their bodies in different ways, and can even mirror behavior. CRACKED COM — National Geographic

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This tiny insect is the water boatman. It is believed to be the loudest animal on Earth relative to its body size. And it makes this loud noise using its penis. The singing penis is as loud as 99.2 decibels, a frequency that can be paralleled to a loud orchestra. CRACKED.COM — 28 Animals With Superhero Level Abilities

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New Caledonian Crows can catch prey hidden under leaves. They shape leaves with barbed edges into a tool for pulling out tasty bugs from underneath fallen leaves. CRACKED.COM — 29 Animals That Are (Secretly) Evil Geniuses

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African buffaloes practice democracy and let the females make the decisions. The females all vote on which direction the herd needs to trek by lifting their heads, one by one, and staring into the direction they wish to go. If the vote is split, they'll divide into two groups and spend the night apart, only to reconvene in the morning and vote again. CRACKED.COM — BBC

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CRACKED.COM Cave crayfish are a lot like their surface relatives, minus the eyes and pigment. But while normal crayfish live for 6 to 7 years... ...cave crayfish live to be 175. — 28 Animals With Superhero Level Abilities

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wheress freezing would CRACKED.COM http://www.naturenorth.com/winter/trazen/frozen3.html kill most animals... the north american wood frog can freeze for the winter, $ than in spring. — 28 Animals With Superhero Level Abilities

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Bears are one of the smartest land animals you can come across in North America. Bears aren't too far from higher primates -- they're phenomenal at avoiding hunters, and animal trainers think they're smarter than dogs. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — PBS

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CRACKED.COM Clocking in at ten feet long and twelve inches in diameter The Blue Whale sports the biggest boner in the world. SOURCE: http://bloweb.uwlax.edu/bio203/s2012/olson_rile/reproduction.htm — 28 Animals With Superhero Level Abilities

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CHIMPANZEES ARE VERY THOROUGH IN HUNTING TERMITES. CRACKED.COM Before sweeping a termite nest with a fishing stick, chimps run the fishing stick through their teeth, giving it a rough, frayed edge that catches more termites. — 29 Animals That Are (Secretly) Evil Geniuses

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Bees do not suffer from the Dunning-Kruger effect. A (challenging) study was done to determine whether bees would take the risk and perform a task they knew would be difficult to do. The bees opted out of the choice and performed better in the task overall, suggesting that they do not overestimate their abilities. Scientists aren't sure whether it's a true cognitive reflection, but this awareness definitely helps bees survive. CRACKED.COM — ABC Science

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29 Things Animals Should Not Be Able to Do — 29 Animals That Are (Secretly) Evil Geniuses

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Crocodiles aren't confined to swamps and low ground - they can climb trees. That's the finding of a study of five crocodilian species - they can climb up to six feet (or 30 feet, in the case of some young crocs). NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — PBS

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29 Things Animals Should Not Be Able to Do — 16 Animals Doing Things (That Shouldn't Be Possible)

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Horses might have been imported to North America, but they're actually American. The species evolved in North America, but got hunted to extinction by humans, except for a few horses that crossed into Asia and then Europe. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — LiveScience

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Bees feel electricity in their leg hairs. CRACKED COM Special sensory hairs in their legs compare the bees' own positive charge with flowers' negative charges. They can then tell whether another bee has recently visited a flower, and they should move on to a fresh one. — 14 Weird Things Animals Can Do That You Can't

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Clara the rhinoceros inspired songs, poems, and fashion In the 18th century, Clara toured Europe to the delight of many people who had never seen a rhino before. NOW YOU KNOW CRACKED.COM — Mental Floss

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Rats can develop sexual fetishes just like people. Researchers have been able to influence lab rats to be attracted to perfume and even rat lingerie depending on what they're exposed to in their initial sexual encounters. CRACKED.COM — Animals That (Eerily) Demonstrate Human-Like Behavior

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Mantis shrimp can pretty much see God. CRACKED.COM If there is a God, even Не can't escape the mantis shrimp's freaky gaze. On top of the spectrum of light we can see, they also pick up ultraviolet, infrared and polarized light. — 14 Weird Things Animals Can Do That You Can't

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GRAGKED.COM We are not the only creatures to use a pretty rock to seal the deal. Male penguins try to give their partners the smoothest pebble they can get, as a courtship gift during mating season. — Animals That (Eerily) Demonstrate Human-Like Behavior

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Veined octopuses have been observed carrying around coconut shells and using them as homes. The behavior of carrying around a form of shelter is not only unique in the world of cephalopods, but it's even unseen in the world of higher primates, like chimps. CRACKED.COM — Animals That (Eerily) Demonstrate Human-Like Behavior

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Spiders can see your iPhone's invisible lasers. CRACKED.COM When you tap your phone's screen to focus the camera, it's actually emitting a LiDAR beam that's invisible to the human eye. But you can see a spider react if you tap them through your screen. — 14 Weird Things Animals Can Do That You Can't

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CRACKED.COM When playfighting, dolphins sort-of laugh, to signal everything is OK. There's a vocalization dolphins make during playfighting, but not at any other time. Scientists think it keeps the play from turning into a real fight. And some scientists think humans evolved laughter for exactly the same purpose. — Animals That (Eerily) Demonstrate Human-Like Behavior

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Elephants, like humans, are empathetic. Elephants can sense when other elephants are in distress and, in a similar way to humans, offer comfort through physical contact. CRACKED.COM — Animals That (Eerily) Demonstrate Human-Like Behavior

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Maxwell Sniffingwell CRACKED.COM In 2009, an Arkansas vet successfully got a degree in animal reproduction on behalf of his English bulldog. Не noted Maxwell's natural ability (in bonin'), and even his experimental work with felines. — 14 Brilliant Animals Who Found Themselves In Very Human Situations

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GRAGKED.COM Some cats are allergic to humans. It's unusual, since people groom away most of their shed hair and skin. Ironically, cat allergies are usually caused by things like perfume, soap, or laundry detergent. — Animals That (Eerily) Demonstrate Human-Like Behavior

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Assassin Bugs CRACKED.COM This crafty insect plucks on a web so the spider thinks a small insect has landed. When the spider comes close enough, the assassin strikes. — The Atlantic

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Black Herons CRACKED.COM A black heron expands its wings to block sunlight entering the water. The shadow tricks fish into thinking night and safety have arrived. The bird picks them out one by one. — Audubon

2

Weevils get their day in court CRACKED.COM In 1545, a swarm of weevils was appointed a lawyer after being accused of destroying some French vineyards. — 14 Brilliant Animals Who Found Themselves In Very Human Situations

1

Crows CRACKED.COM Crows remember individual humans and hold grudges. Weirder, they teach their young to attack the specific human who wronged the parent. — NY Times

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