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Cracked Archive - Weird World

5 Bitter Truths About Chocolate

While we'd like to continue to believe that chocolate comes from a purple-garbed man in a whimsical factory, the real chocolate world is far darker and far harder than we ever would have thought. Though the general disregard for children is about the same.

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If Movie Titles Were Honest

In a world where the content of the film matched audience expectations based on the title, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark is a blacksploitation sequel, American Graffiti is way more like Exit Through the Gift Shop, and Exit Through the Gift Shop is way more like a porn that got filmed when the Radison Inn double booked.

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The 9 Stupidest Superhero Secret Identities

A trench coat isn't much of a disguise when the rest of your visible body is clearly made of rocks.

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6 Completely Legal Ways The Cops Can Screw You

We are so lucky to be living in an era of law where suspect interrogations with live cobras tied to the ends of nightsticks are no longer common. Unfortunately, there are still many colorful ways the police can royally screw you while Lady Justice shrugs.

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How to Decide Whether to Tell the Painful Truth [COMIC]

Honesty is not always the best policy. For instance, when you're talking to your boss, honesty is almost never a good idea

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The 5 Most Absurd Video Games Starring Rock Stars

Being a famous musician comes with a lot of perks. Throngs of adoring fans enamored with your every move. More sex and drugs than one person should ever have access to. And, apparently, the means to get completely idiotic video games commissioned in your name.

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5 Bizarre Real Life Gangs That Put The Warriors to Shame

In movies, comic books, video games and 80s music videos, street-gangs are assembled around a loose theme, like rollerblading, ancient Vikings, or love of classic opera. That's usually not the case in the real world. Usually.

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The 9 Most Statistically Terrifying Days On the Calendar

There are days that everyone knows to be cautious on and then there are these days. Just lurking in the shadows. Waiting to murder you dead.

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How We Really Spend Our Time: 13 Pie Graphs

Experts estimate that men spend ten years of their lives working, three years of their lives going to the bathroom, and four years waiting in line, all of which are subject to fluctuate depending on where you prefer to masturbate.

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How to Explain Men's Emotions: A Useful Analogy [COMIC]

Contrary to popular belief, the frozen burrito is not the best frozen food metaphor for explaining male emotions.

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The 6 Most Gigantic Everything in the History of War

You have to be amazed by what humans can accomplish when they really, really want to kill each other.

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6 Classics Despised by the People Who Created Them

Despite their creations remaining celebrated to this day, some people live out the rest of their days hating the things they made.

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Using the Toilet at the U.S. Capitol Building: A True Story

Call me 'sir' and talk to me like I'm a fucking adult or call me 'hey you, you stupid little puke' and talk to me like I'm a sticky five-year-old who can't stop shitting himself. Either one of those is fine, but when you combine them, you are doing me and your country a disservice.

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