While we'd like to continue to believe that chocolate comes from a purple-garbed man in a whimsical factory, the real chocolate world is far darker and far harder than we ever would have thought. Though the general disregard for children is about the same.
In a world where the content of the film matched audience expectations based on the title, Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark is a blacksploitation sequel, American Graffiti is way more like Exit Through the Gift Shop, and Exit Through the Gift Shop is way more like a porn that got filmed when the Radison Inn double booked.
We are so lucky to be living in an era of law where suspect interrogations with live cobras tied to the ends of nightsticks are no longer common. Unfortunately, there are still many colorful ways the police can royally screw you while Lady Justice shrugs.
Honesty is not always the best policy. For instance, when you're talking to your boss, honesty is almost never a good idea
Being a famous musician comes with a lot of perks. Throngs of adoring fans enamored with your every move. More sex and drugs than one person should ever have access to. And, apparently, the means to get completely idiotic video games commissioned in your name.
In movies, comic books, video games and 80s music videos, street-gangs are assembled around a loose theme, like rollerblading, ancient Vikings, or love of classic opera. That's usually not the case in the real world. Usually.
There are days that everyone knows to be cautious on and then there are these days. Just lurking in the shadows. Waiting to murder you dead.
Experts estimate that men spend ten years of their lives working, three years of their lives going to the bathroom, and four years waiting in line, all of which are subject to fluctuate depending on where you prefer to masturbate.
Contrary to popular belief, the frozen burrito is not the best frozen food metaphor for explaining male emotions.
You have to be amazed by what humans can accomplish when they really, really want to kill each other.
Despite their creations remaining celebrated to this day, some people live out the rest of their days hating the things they made.
Call me 'sir' and talk to me like I'm a fucking adult or call me 'hey you, you stupid little puke' and talk to me like I'm a sticky five-year-old who can't stop shitting himself. Either one of those is fine, but when you combine them, you are doing me and your country a disservice.