Just be natural.
Enlightened white people go to poor foreign countries and ask, 'What do these noble people have to teach us?' The results are less murderous but more annoying.
Science says being in charge not only attracts terrifying douche bags but creates them as well. And with that, here's the scariest article you'll read this month.
It's so hard to think logically about safety. We figure that any time our health or the safety of our children is at stake, it's better safe than sorry. Unfortunately, this leads to a whole lot of well-publicized and often expensive safety measures that are often worthless, or downright dangerous.
To the owners and staff of the Storybook Petting Zoo ...
Behold fair readers, the wild and wondrous world of Gladstone! Horrifying. Strange. And utterly real.
What's the worst thing you've ever done? Ever organized a riot, caused a blackout or intentionally tipped over a boat with people in it? If you said no, you have nothing on these animals.
For over fifty years, Smokey Bear has spread the message of forest fire safety. And every step of the way, a raccoon named Specs was there to make puns about it, to drop birthday cakes, to start stampedes, to trap everyone in caves and to of course start many, many forest fires. For some reason, Smokey Bear never did a damn thing about it.