Cracked Archive - Weird World

4 Things I Learned from the Worst Online Dating Profile Ever

I made the OkCupid profile of the Worst Woman on Earth, hoping to prove that there exists an online dating profile so loathsome that no man would message it. I failed.


4 Creepy Ways 'Pokemon' Changed Since You Stopped Playing

The first game came out over 15 years ago, and if you've long stopped paying attention, you'll be surprised by the bizarre things that have happened to the series.


5 Unexpectedly Perverted Tourist Attractions (NSFW Pics)

While visiting an old church or park, when suddenly ... penises. Penises everywhere.


6 Insane Ways Dogs Can Inadvertently Screw Over Their Owners

Take a good, long look at Fido, because maybe, just maybe, he's been trying to kill you for years and years. Maybe he already did kill you.


Why 2013 Was the Year of the Crapocalypse

My name is Robert Brockway, and I have a problem: I'm addicted to the apocalypse.


4 Reasons 'Viral' Content Stopped Mattering in 2013

Everyone tried so hard to go 'viral' that the word barely has any meaning anymore.


The 40 Best Cracked Articles and Videos of 2013

2013 was a historically bad year for Congress and health care websites, but it was Cracked's best year ever.


The 6 Most Bizarrely Offensive Comic Book Supervillains

In the face of relentless pressure to keep coming up with new supervillains, publishers wound up greenlighting ideas that really should have screamed 'bad idea' at the doodle stage.


The 6 Most Overrated Media Outrages of 2013

In 2013, these six stories quenched the general public's insatiable thirst for misplaced outrage more than any others.


The 6 Craziest Pieces of Christmas Fan Fiction

Don't ruin your holidays with the following stories, which are so bizarre, they're almost impossible to masturbate to.


6 Reasons 2013 Was the Year 'Revolution' Lost All Meaning

'Revolution' used to be a word with meaning. Now, any hack British comedian can use it to their desire.


6 Badass Old-Timey Christmas Mascots (We Need to Bring Back)

Why must it always be boring old Santa? There are so many badass Christmas characters out there, just waiting for their time in the limelight.


28 Items from the Worst Gift Catalog Possible

Gather ye round the fire for another yuletide reading of the Pumblechook & Figg holiday gift catalog!


6 More Real-Life Soldiers Who Make Rambo Look Like a Pussy

It's as if they were fighting a real war with the same selfless abandon with which you'd fight in a video game.


Undeniable Proof That European Christmas Is Terrifying

There's a subgenre of a subgenre of fiction devoted entirely to Christmas. And it's mostly about ladies who want rough sex from the Krampus.