Mercury (II) thiocyanate is an innocuous-looking white powder. It doesn't do much, just sits around doing powder stuff. You know -- piling up, maybe drifting about for a little bit. Then you set it on fire, and it opens a gateway to the Old Ones so that they might escape from their Eternal Tombs.
"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!"
It starts out innocently enough, kind of like a slightly bigger version of those lame snake fireworks you give to the littler kids on the Fourth of July. But as the reaction continues, you start to realize it has no intention of stopping, growing into a Lovecraftian tentacle beast that threatens to consume you and, indeed, the world itself:
Play for full effect.
Have you survived the emergence of mercury thioCthulhu? Has the madness taken root in your mind, and now you want -- nay, must -- light some other powder on fire to appease Those Who Slumber? Try ammonium dichromate: It turns into a miniature volcano, like a slightly turbocharged version of that terrible soggy baking soda one you made in grade school. You know, the one that was so bad, it made Dad stop loving Mom and caused the divorce.
His parents celebrated 33 years last May.
Kind of a letdown, wasn't it? After the creeping madness we showed you earlier, this grade school science fair fare just won't cut it. But we warn you: Don't do it. It's not worth it. It's not worth it to mix the two and light the whole mess on fire. We mean, sure, you'll get a goddamn Balrog sending his flaming whips up from the Ember Dimension ...
We've edited the part where it devours the cameraman's soul.
... but both substances are toxic as hell, and the fumes could do you serious harm. Also, you have literally no contingency plan for taming that Balrog, do you? What are you gonna do, ask him to sit down and play Mario Kart?
Are you? Because that would be awesome.
Daniel has a blog where he often dispenses dubious advice. For a completely different kind of fun with dangerous chemicals, like Jason's Facebook page.
We all have our shameful pleasures. But moreover we all have those shameful pleasures we'll defend to the death. In our latest podcast, Daniel O'Brien hosts Cracked Columnist Soren Bowie and Riot's Liana Maeby to discuss their terrible tastes in pop culture. You can download it here and subscribe to it on iTunes here.
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