Cracked Archive - Weird World

5 Cheap Things To Keep Kids Busy In Winter

For those of you too young to have kids, why not use this time to have an unplanned pregnancy and bookmark this column for two years from now.


5 Ways We Misunderstand Pedophilia (That Makes it Worse)

We sat down with several self-professed (but non-offending) pedophiles. Here's what we learned.


The Single Most Useless 'As Seen On TV' Product Ever

The subject of my ire? Poofume. For crying out loud.


4 Things You Only Learn from Exercise if You're in Bad Shape

My reason for running is kind of dumb -- I just want to see how terrible I am at it.


9 Foreign Terms More Awful Than Any English Profanity

Some languages have words for concepts so weird or off-putting that we can thank the stars we don't have any use for them in everyday English.


5 Expert Phrases That Explain Ideas You Should Understand

I invite you to read some folksy animal-centric wisdom and become the Yoda of your circle of friends.


4 Of The Most Bizarre Small Towns In The World

Your town's claim to fame is nothing compared to these places.


5 Things Breaking Bad Left Out About Having a Drug Lord Dad

We talked to Andrew Hass, whose life was derailed when his dad was caught growing thousands of plants worth of pot back in 1998, when Hass was still a teenager.


6 Baffling First Drafts of Classic Novels

What if we told you that there are extra scenes of your favorite book, written by your favorite writer, that you've never read before? Awesome, right? No so fast.


7 Disasters Everyone Survived (That a Highlander Wouldn't)

We can only imagine the survivors of the following incidents were forever looking over their shoulders to see if the relentless specter of death was trying to sneak up on them to finish the job.


5 Things I Endured as a Legal Brothel Worker

We talked to legal brothel worker who walked us through some of the bizarre rules, regulations, and everyday bullshit that pervades every aspect of their lives.


5 Things People Don't Understand About Only Children

Allow me to speak for every only child and set the record straight on what it's really like.


5 Satanic Crime Fighting Tips Taught to Real American Cops

Since the worship of the Devil and his unholy legion of crooks are an extremely pressing concern for all of us, here are five crucial tips for dealing with Satanic cult crime.


5 Bizarre Realities of Being a Man Who Was Raped by a Woman

We spoke with a victim of female-on-male rape to find out what it's like to be the victim of a crime that most of society refuses to acknowledge is even a thing. Spoiler Alert: It's awful.


7 Shockingly Bad Slogans Major Corporations Went With

For every effectively memorable and only marginally annoying slogan out there, there's about five that suck eggs.