Between 1997 and 2009, Trump made four attempts at breaking into the world of print: Trump Style, Trump World, Trump World II: Red, White, And Blonde, and Trump Magazine. Like a shitty in-flight magazine, Trump Style was distributed around his condos and hotels from 1997 to 2002. Inside, there were countless photos of Trump and his then-wife Marla Marples, horoscopes, news about his burgeoning casino empire, and plugs for the place you were already richly dumb enough for staying in. In other words, they were advertisements for places that already had Trump's name on the building and his smug candle wax face in every lobby. Very stylish, indeed.
The content of Trump World (which folded after two editions) and Trump Magazine wasn't much different: one-third scintillating interviews with Trump and the trio of haunted ventriloquist dolls he calls children, and two-thirds glossy advertisements for personal canoes, luxury pocket squares, and diamond-studded gaming consoles to pay for it.
In the end, this mighty publishing dynasty was brought down by the same problem that destroys every business owned by a self-proclaimed billionaire: cash flow problems. Trump World had lost $3 million and almost bankrupted the publisher. When it regenerated into Trump Magazine, it lost a further $7 million, a shock to those people who'd heard Trump literally weeks beforehand say that they were "taking it to the next level," not knowing that he was talking about the bankruptcies.
Trump World Studios, aka "The Hollywood Of Florida!"
Have you ever noticed that Donald Jennifer Trump has a really weird relationship with Hollywood? He spends half of his time riling up his base up about their eliteness, then spends the other half jumping up and down trying to get their attention. And there's no better signal of his toadying than the decades he spent cameo-ing in every movie he possibly could, to the extent that giving him a cameo was contractually obliged if you wanted to shoot in any of his properties.
So how do you become movie-famous while hating the guts of the movie industry? You make your own studio, with blackjack and Russian hookers. In 2012, Trump started plans to create Trump World Studios, Florida. TWS would have an 800-acre lot, comprised of 15 backlots and studio space totaling a million square feet, alongside a housing complex for employees and his beloved celebrities, restaurants, stores, and a public plaza. If it had been built, Trump World Studios would have been the largest film studio in the country, and Trump could've slipped into his new role as the Tangerine Walt Disney.
The Trump Organization
The Trump OrganizationAnd if he had actually paid his artists, you would be able to see those in the design plans.
When someone looked into the 800 acres that Trump wanted, they found that he'd earmarked spaces for everything from homeless assistance and public schools to parks and environmental conservation zones, all the way to the military -- who have a thing about people trespassing on their grounds. The final nail in the coffin, however, was the discovery that Trump, real estate genius that he is, had earmarked land next to an air reserve base -- a move equivalent to Marvel Studios deciding to shoot Infinity War inside a wind turbine. Before he could get the chance to ask if the jets could, like, be quiet when doing their takeoffs and landings, the whole thing was quietly dropped like a red-hot turd -- albeit a turd that logged millions of dollars in architectural fees.
Adam Wears is on Twitter and Facebook, and has a newsletter about depressing history. It's really good, honest.
Listen, someday we'll have a better president, and maybe we'll finally get a Madame President. A "The Future Is Female" shirt is still available!
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