Running, jogging, exercising or indeed, physical movement in general were all things that I had absolutely no interest in. The only way I was running anywhere was if there was a lion behind me and an ice cream truck in front of me.
Highlighters are not magic grocery store checkout scanners that automatically transport information into your brain.
I figured that in LA, I'd be annoyed by the enthusiastic cokeheads, phonies and traffic. And I am, but I wasn't at all prepared for stuff much more terrifying.
You promised yourself that this time would be different. You promised that you'd rein it in: Just have a few drinks, make some small talk, and then call it a night. This here is a modest Halloween party, homey, not some twisted Revelations themed boxing-orgy. That was last night.
Most funeral services are morbid, somber, serene affairs that are directly at odds with most human beings, who are ridiculous, flailing jesters, pratfalling their way through life. I say it's time to put the 'fun' back in 'funeral' and the 'felony' back in 'the cemetery.'
'I'm pretty sure Mexicans enjoy things more than me,' I admitted to the man, picking at a cowlick of fine white thread jutting from the seam of his black leather pseudo-sofa. You know the things I mean - those stretched out chair/couches, like the limousine version of a recliner?
I had to admit I didn't have a more satisfying response. I simply didn't know why there were there so many Jews in comedy. My Hebrew school certainly didn't offer credits in stand-up, although I have to admit my Bar Mitzvah speech totally killed.
There are a lot of questions and answers for new authors out there on the internet, but they always seem to dance around the subject in the name of preserving some sort of artistic mystique. As is the case with all nice things, I would like to ruin that tradition. I'll talk to you about the publishing process honestly and unflinchingly, even when i